So this happened over a year ago and I finally got the courage to post on here just to see what other people, that are not my family, think about the whole situation.

Here we go: a couple days after my birthday last year in january my family got together to celebrate - it was me (f23), my younger brother (m18) and his girlfriend, my grandparents (both 65), my mom (f46), my stepdad (m48) and my little sister (f11). My fiancé (now husband, m23) wasn't there for the most part because my family speaks a different language and usually he just sits there and doesn't understand anything. My parents speak his language a little and try to talk to him sometimes but it's really difficult for them to understand each other and my grandparents don't speak it at all. (background info: we moved to this country about 10 years ago and me and my siblings basically have lived here for the bigger part of our lives.)

So the night was going well, we ate and were playing games, laughing, having a good time overall. Around 10pm my fiancé came around. We took pictures, I blew the candles and we were slowly wrapping things up. When my fiancé and I got up to leave, my grandparents also got up to go and I was kinda confused because my grandpa had been drinking a lot the whole night and my grandma doesn´t drive so I asked them how they were going to get home or if they were maybe planning to stay at my parents house for the night. They said that they were also getting ready to go cause we were going to be driving them home, which I had no clue about. At this point I went to my mom, who was in the designated "smoker room", and asked her if she told my grandparents that we were going to drive them home. Mind you at this point the only people who weren´t drunk were me, my fiancé, who had just arrived like 30mins ago, and my sister, and my fiancé is the only one who can drive since I don't have my driver's licence. Turns out my mom promised my grandparents that my fiancé was gonna drive them home without asking us or even telling us after the fact. I told her that she shouldn't promise things on our behalf without talking to us first. She then started going off about how entitled I was, how big of a princess I have become and how it was not a problem at all for us to drive them home. (they live on the other side of the city btw) She said I have become very cold and heartless since moving here and that I have abandoned the warm culture we come from. At this point I felt bombarded with insults and tried to explain to my mom that it was my fiancé's time she was deciding over and not mine and I just felt like she disrespected him with her actions. I tried to deescalate the situation by saying that I can look past what she did this time but I don't want this sort of thing to happen again. My brother sided with me and tried to explain the same thing to my mom but she was just going on and on. She believes that the woman in the relationship should be the boss and the man should just do what she tells him and to have no objections (like she does to my stepdad) and couldn't accept that my fiancé is his own person and has the right to say no, even if I ask him to do something. She has always had problems with accepting other people's boundaries and feels like everybody is attacking her. She is also an alcoholic and has been since I can remember.

So at this point my mother is drunk and screaming at me and my brother, my grandpa is also drunk and screaming that he is going to drive himself home, everybody is mad at me for "refusing" to drive them, my fiancé doesn't understand shit cause it's all in a different language and my brother and I are trying to calm everybody down - a complete mess. At the end my drunk stepdad drove my grandparents home, we tried to stop them but couldn't and me and my fiancé drove home and I cried the whole night. So yeah that was how my birthday went... Also a couple days after this whole situation, my mom kicked my brother out cause they were still fighting about what had happened, he went to live with his girlfriend and her mom.

Now a year later we kinda mended the situation, but it still doesn't feel like it once did. I still visit my parents and since my mom got diagnosed with cancer a couple months after my birthday, I try to not cause anymore drama and just go with it. My husband refuses to come with me when I visit them, which I understand, so I don't even ask him to anymore.

So AITAH for getting upset with my mom after what she did?

P.S. sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language :)