So I (18M) have been friends with this guy Allan (18M) for almost two years now. We met through work as we're both part-timers at a local supermarket, and we hit it off immediately. We also bonded over the fact we were both into nerdy things like anime, cosplay, video games, etc.

An important thing to mention is that Allan is from a very strictly religious family, and they have been very abusive to him in various ways. As in, from feeding him expired food to actually hitting him and his siblings. That is why Allan is usually over at my place, considering I'm an only child and my mother is quite fond of him. That is also why he celebrated his birthday at my place rather than his own.

However, as of late, I have been getting very sick of Allan. Allan is very clumsy. As in, he spills and drops and stumbles into anyone and anything in his path. I've never thought much of it since my mother is also very clumsy and tends to drop a lot of things, so I'm quite used to it by now. However, Allan was on a whole new level. He has broken lots of my stuff, from figurines to actual clothes of mine, and never done anything to fix anything or pay me to get new stuff.

Besides that, in my opinion, Allan has little to no manners at all. Whenever we're texting in a group chat, Allan always butts in by venting without even asking if it was okay to do so, even if someone else was venting first or whatsoever, and he always expects everyone to pay attention to him. He also expects me to pick up after him as he does everything last minute, which has resulted in almost getting late for various birthday parties, conventions, and sometimes even work because he couldn't keep himself together and relied on me to do everything for him and pick up after him. Even in my own house, he can't be bothered to clean up after himself and I end up doing it for him.

But what did it for me was what happened last week, and this is also what I feel guilty over. Last week was Allan's 18th birthday, and my boyfriend and I spent a fortune on getting a cosplay Allan had been wanting for years but he could never afford. My boyfriend couldn't be there with us, so he was on video call the whole time as the situation unfolded. Another friend of ours, Amy, was already at my place to congratulate him, and more people were coming later. And so, as Allan came through the front door, I gave him my boyfriend and I's present. He was absolutely over the moon with it and I was glad he was happy, but instead of thanking me, Allan ran into Amy's arms and just started jumping up and down before putting on the cosplay.

This might sound petty, but I felt rather offended at that moment. I had spent quite a bit of my savings to buy that cosplay for him, and he couldn't even be bothered to thank me. In fact, Allan only thanked my boyfriend and didn't even glance at me, even though I was the one holding the phone. Allan only thanked me when he was calling one of his friends, only because she told him to say thank you. He didn't even look at me as he said it.

And to make matters worse, Allan figured it would be a good idea to drink a whole bottle of wine by himself and got incredibly drunk on it. I was still on VC with my boyfriend in the kitchen, getting myself something to drink before Allan emerged from the toilet and decided to scare me by acting like he was going to jump on top of me, to which I flinched. After seeing my reaction, he said something along the lines of: "Calm down, dude. I'm not your dad" before laughing hysterically at his own joke. I felt hurt. Especially since Allan knew I've gone no-contact with my abusive father for only a few months by then, so it was still a very sensitive topic for me. I just felt incredibly hurt that he would joke about something like that, and I just snapped at him to get out of my way before telling everyone to get the fuck out of my house, including Allan, and eventually just left to go upstairs and lock myself in my room. It's not my proudest moment, I'll admit, but I just wanted to be left alone at that moment. I've been ghosting Allan ever since. Allan has texted me to ask me if I'm okay and if he did something wrong, and even some of our mutual friends have been reaching out to ask what happened.

I've talked to my boyfriend about this and he told me to clear up my head before talking to Allan again, especially if I wanted to confront him. He said he completely agreed with me and he didn't think what Allan did was right at all. However, some of our other friends tell me that it's really not that deep. They said that Allan didn't know what he was saying since he was drunk and that I was quite intoxicated myself too (which I very much was, I won't deny it) and let my emotions take ovee. They told me I should just make up with Allan since I'm like an older brother to him and he's supposedly incredibly worried for me. That's why I feel like a bit of a dick for being upset at him and ghosting him since his birthday.

So, AITAH?