I (26F) for years (close to a decade) have been begging to go to Europe with my grandparents. My cousin lets called her Stacy (37F) and (41M) went years ago with them as their graduation present for high school.

My sister (24F) and I, when they would discuss where they went would bring up it was unfair etc. we very much didn’t have a close relationship to them growing up, just the occasional week stays / holidays. Not by our choice it just happened that way.

In 2020 we were supposed to go, and boom Covid got canceled.

It was brought up again the end of 2023 to go in 2025. My sister, I and our grandparents. Then they asked us if they could invite my SIL (25F), Stacy, and my male cousins wife (41F). Obviously we didn’t feel we could say no so said sure. Both SIL’s said they had no interest. So it was myself, my sister, Stacy and our grandparents. Even though she has already been to Europe, and this was supposed to ~equal~ us all, we didn’t feel it was our place to complain since we were finally getting to go.

My grandparents often hold “meetings”- think zoom, emails, at holidays being pulled in a room to discuss it. In September 2024 on family vacation we had one of those meetings. Grandparents, myself, sister, Stacy and my Aunt Jamie and my dad. They asked if we wanted to go to Rome, Italy, France and London or Germany, Austria, and Switzerland. For my sister and I the first option was our first choice so we got priority.

It has been booked for September 2025 for months now. We worked around Stacy’s schedule (she’s a teacher). A couple months ago we found out my Aunt Jamie was invited even though we were told a firm NO that neither of our parents could attend as it was a “granddaughters” trip. Again, we were annoyed but felt we had no place to complain on our free trip.

Fast forward to March 30th we found out the tour company canceled the trip due to technical issues or some baloney. We had a zoom meeting. My Grandparents gave us four options. 1. Post pone the tour to 2026, 2. Move the tour to summer, 3. Get a check for us and +1, 4. Go the same dates to Germany, Austria and Switzerland. They told us to let them know by Tuesday and we would go from there. My sister and I discussed it and both agreed we’d like to move it to summer for the same trip.

We heard nothing from them until the day we were all traveling to go on a cruise (all together) with dates that were partially in May / June. I unfortunately didn’t expect it to be pushed up that soon and had 3 pre-existing commitments (paid for beach trip, concert, people out of work at that time) so I said I couldn’t go. Last I heard trip was cancelled.

We spent 8/9 days on the cruise together. My entire family and it was never brought up once to me. As we were loading our luggage up this past Sunday Stacy and my Aunt Jamie both came up to me and said I needed to stop being selfish and go on the other trip to the different countries the same time. I explained I have heard nothing about that and had no interest in going to those countries and I simply gave my first option as they asked.

Now I have gotten an ugly call from my Aunt Jamie accusing me of not wanting to go on vacation with my grandparents, ugly emails saying the trip has to be canceled because I found the other trip unacceptable.

I am so confused because all I did was give my first choice. I haven’t been spoken to about anything else. He gave us 4 options and I gave mine now I feel like I’m being blamed for something being cancelled I had no control over. . I have spent lots of time reading about the places we were going, had my mind set on this trip and feel like I’m being backed into a wall to go on this other one. My aunt Jamie and Stacy have already been to Rome, Italy, France and London.

My sister agrees that they are being harsh with me and if they didn’t want us to give our opinion / give us options they shouldn’t have asked or gave us a choice. He now has sent a text saying he never wants to hear about this trip again which I assume he is reneging on his other 2 options he also gave.

So AITAH for answering honestly and not taking a free trip somewhere I have no interest going when other options were given?