On a throwaway. I (28M), and openly bisexual, and my colleague (35M) are both science teachers in a secondary school. He teaches chemistry, I teach biology.

So basically I have been sleeping with him when I can. It sounds bad but it all started because my wife (31F) is psychotic; she has started to become borderline abusive, constantly screaming and last night she even threw a plate. I have been so unhappy for so long, but i just cant muster up the courage to leave her. Cowardly, I know.

About a 6 months ago, me and some other colleagues went out for drinks, and I, having had a particularly difficult week, hit the bottle pretty hard. Apparently, so had he, because we ended up being the drunkest and staying the latest. Once everyone else had left, we got to talking. We were so shit-faced that one thing led to another, and we slept together. It felt so wrong yet so right, I had never felt such pure passionate fire ablaze between me and another person, especially not with my wife.

Of course, the next Monday was awkward. But we ended up talking about it and agreed to be just friends. But it happened again. And again. And then it started to happen when we were sober; now we are in a full-blown affair.

Recently, we were walked in on by another colleague whilst in my office (I am a year team leader) and I think she is going to keep quiet, but now I feel obliged to tell my wife, or at least do something as now our secret is not just constrained to us.

The guilt is tearing me apart, but my wife is horrible to me. I am scared of what she would do if we split, she would take our apartment and our dog most likely, and I’m not in the best financial situation at the moment. I can’t afford a new place, a new living situation, but i just can’t quit him.

AITAH for having an affair? Should I admit it?