Hi Redditors!

Looking for an honest judgement here.

So me (F28) and my bf (M29) have been in a relationship for 1.5 years now. We are very much in love, have a great relationship and are hoping to get old together. He is my best friend, my rock, my biggest supporter and I am happy to be the same to him.

Now on to the issue. When we started dating, somewhat 3 months into our relationship, we had a talk about me not being able to orgasm. He felt like he was doing something wrong and was upset about the fact that he was trying really hard to make me feel good, did everything I asked for in bed, learned some tricks and still with no luck. The truth is that I had NEVER had an orgasm before him as well. I struggle with that my whole life and had two long term relationships before, had mindfulness sessions for that, read a lot of books, talked with a therapist, tried exploring my own body A LOT, with no luck. I told him all of that and let him know that this has nothing to do with what he did wrong, it’s an issue I have had. He tokd me that he felt like a looser of a man since he really trusted his sex skills before me and never had such problems. Told me he would try to prove that I can feel all of that and he will die trying lol.

After several days I brought a subject about possibly trying PRP injections down there since there was a lot of positive feedback about this treatment online (for those who are not familiar, it’s a procedure where they take your own blood, separate your plasma and inject plasma back to your body in specific spots). It stimulates sensitivity and in return pleasure and all of that fun stuff. When I brought it up, he was REALLY against it. He generally is a guy who does not support plastic surgeries, fake lips, etc. I tried telling him that it’s not a surgery and it’s literally my own blood. But he told me it was something he is not ok with and is kind of a deal breaker. He told me this makes him feel like he can’t pleasure me and that he wants to try to make it work naturally without any of that stuff. And he did try, like REALLY.

After a few weeks, I talked to my therapist and my mom and decided to just take a chance and get the procedure done. I really was hesitant to tell him since he was already feeling like a failure in this situation and from how he expressed his feelings about it, it was clear this would shatter his confidence and he would feel even worse. So I didn’t tell him.

The procedure did literally nothing to me. No effect. No difference, good or bad. No nothing. I literally forgot I had it done after a month or so.

Now a year+ later his view in my orgasms issue is a lot different, we enjoy sex, I managed to make it till the end quite a bit of times with him (eve though it’s not much but I told him he’s the only person who actually managed to do this). He doesn’t feel bad or “not enough” anymore, we are really close and intimate. It’s really great.

Today we were just having some burgers at McDonald’s and talked about our relationship in retrospect. Touched the sex theme jokingly counting how much sex ee had throughout our relationship. And then I remembered about the procedure I had. I literally forgot about it at all. And I told him that when we were 3 months into dating and we had this conversation I actually did try this peocedure and it did not do anything.

He got REALLY angry. He was disappointed I did not tell him and that I did it even though I knew how uncomfortable he felt about it. I apologised for not telling him but tried explaining that it was frustrating to be 27 y.o. and not knowing what that feels like, seeing him feeling like it’s his fault. Also, that we were only 3 months into our relationship and I felt like it’s my right to do whatever I feel necessary for my own body. He agreed with that but told that he still had the right to know and that this is unacceptable and broke his trust.

I totally get it. Lying/hiding is never a good thing but it was THE ONLY THING I ever hid from him and since it was so early into our relationship and I literally forgot about it till today, I am in a bit of a loss.

I told him this thing without even thinking about how he would feel about me not telling him a year before. I actually thought that now that we’re in such a different place with our sex life, we would simply laugh about that. I did not expect such a blow up. It’s not a usual reaction from his side for sure. Maybe I was a bit delusional here.

He’s now not speaking with me. Told me he needs some space. We were supposed to go finally finish our Borderlands 2 game today and now I am in my bed while he’s in the living room scrolling in his phone. :(

I want to make things right, I apologized and really feel bad for keeping this from him but I also feel upset and angry that he still says that he is not ok with me doing the procedure even now when he knows the struggles I have in this area.

So, AITAH? Should I have told him then, risking our relationship and his perception of selfworth and “masculinity” or is it ok to keep such a thing private 3 months into relationship?