i (24f) had a daughter when i was 21. i was in a messy, situationship-level thing with a guy who bailed when i told him i was pregnant. i didn’t tell anyone in my family. i didn’t live at home, i was in a different city, and i just… handled it. i worked, did online college, took care of my baby. it wasn’t easy, but it was mine.

my family is very image-focused. like, reputation in the neighborhood, social media, always-perfect-christmas-card kind of family. i didn’t want to deal with the judgment, the fake support, the lectures. so i just… never told them. i slowly stopped coming to events, i always had “work” or “school,” and they assumed i was just in my own world. we texted and talked, just never in person.

fast forward to this summer—my sister (26f) got married. i was a bridesmaid. i left my daughter (now 3) with my best friend during the weekend. wedding went fine, no drama, great photos, all good.

then last week, i finally told my mom. i was ready. i felt like i didn’t want to keep hiding such a huge part of my life. at first she was shocked but calm… then she told my sister, and that’s when all hell broke loose.

my sister texted me a 5-paragraph essay about how i “ruined her wedding retroactively” because i “lied with my whole face” the entire weekend. she said she felt disgusting looking back at photos with me in them and that i “hid a whole human being.” she also said i made a mockery of her “motherhood-themed” bridal speech (which is wild to me because… what?) and that if she’d known, she would’ve made her wedding about celebrating me becoming a mom too.

now everyone’s split. my dad is proud of me for raising a kid on my own. my mom thinks it’s sad i had to do it alone but also says i was “deceptive.” my aunt thinks i’m cruel for keeping it a secret. my sister blocked me.

AITAH for not telling them sooner? or was it okay to have that time for just me and my daughter?