Ok, tbh this feels a little silly to me, but I want to know if I fucked up. I am aware that this is kinda petty drama but I just need input from someone other than family.

A few weeks ago, I went to visit my best friend at her college. Let’s call her Emily. We’ve known each other forever but don’t get to see each other as often because we go to different universities.

It was St. patty’s weekend, so we were both pretty wasted. A couple hours in to the party, I notice a guy that has been making eye contact with me for a while. I don’t really think much of it initially.

Now this is where things start to get a little foggy for me, so I’m gonna do my best but also can’t promise that everything is 100% accurate. Emily and I have both talked to this guy briefly, and when the two of us are alone, she tells me she thinks he’s cute, and I agree with her. This is not an uncommon event when I visit her as we’re both single and we pretty openly talk about the people we think are attractive. This was also not the only guy she pointed out over this weekend.

About 30 minutes later (I think?) this guy sits down next to me. Emily was elsewhere at the time, so I was sitting alone. We start talking a little bit and get a little closer over the next few minutes.

Then, he kisses me. I wasn’t really expecting it but I wasn’t upset about it. We make out for a little, and apparently, this is when Emily comes out and sees me with him. She gets upset with me and goes to talk to one of her school friends about it before “coming to the decision” to forgive me. She did not try to talk to me about this while she was upset even though we try to communicate pretty openly with each other.

This guy and I really hit it off and keep hanging out for the night. After Emily saw us, it seemed like she wanted very little to do with me for the rest of the night. I kept seeking her out, making sure she was doing ok, wanting to spend time with her, but she kept moving away. To be completely honest and fair, I did spend a lot of my time with this guy, but at the end of the day, I came here to spend time with her and wanted to do so.

When we did talk, things felt off. It felt like she was saying things to try and upset me or make me feel shitty. Though that might not of been her intention, that’s definitely how it came across to me. When we talked about the guy, she brought up again that she had initially been upset, so I apologized. She kept giving reasons as to why she no longer thought he was cute.

She also invited him to stay the night. I was not the one to suggest this nor was it a thought in my head. I was somewhat hesitant but after insistence from my friend that it was completely ok with her I agreed.

By the time I left, I thought we were cool about this. She had told me straight out that she was happy for me.

I keep talking to this guy casually. A couple weeks later, I go home to see my parents for a weekend and to hang out with a couple of friends from home that I hadn’t seen in a while, including Emily. We decide to hang out all together and start to catch each other up on our lives. When we get to me, I share with our friend that I had kissed someone (an exciting development). Emily is confused, not remembering what I’m talking about. When I remind her what I’m talking about, she makes a weird face. I ask her “what?” She says she “doesn’t want to get into it”. I push a little more and she stares me dead in the eyes, straight face and says “girl code”.

I start to get upset, (1) because in my opinion, I didn’t break girl code, (2)because I thought we had already hashed this out, and (3) because I was excited to talk about this, and now it felt awkward to do so. I snap back and say something that, I will admit, was mean and catty. I shouldn’t have said it, and I did apologize for it later because I knew it did hurt her.

I feel like things were already a little tense with us before this, but now it feels even weirder. We’ve barely talked.

It wasn’t my intention to upset her. I didn’t do it out of pettiness or because she told me she thought he was cute. I did it because he was a fun, cute guy who was showing interest in me (something that does not happen very often).

Another tidbit I think is important, we talk quite a bit, so I’m very aware of her more long-term crushes/situationships. I would never pursue one of these guys because I know how much that would hurt her.

I already know I’m the asshole for what I said and have delivered an appropriate apology for it. It’s the other thing I want to know about. I don’t think I broke “girl code”, but I think there’s still a big possibility that regardless of “girl code” I still did something wrong. AITAH?