I, 19 F, suffer from autism and OCD, which can get fairly extreme at times. If you don’t have OCD or pure O, please don’t judge me. because seriously, and I mean it, no, you don’t know what it’s like. My family is fairly large, so around the holidays, my family likes to get together in large groups (like 10+ people.) To the point: I have an OCD/ physiological affiliation with sleeping at this spesific grandma’s apartment because of some emotional trauma that I will not get into in this post, making me feel unsafe sleeping there, or at the very least anxious without explanation. It’s gotten to a point where the emotional trauma has kind of faded and things have very slightly improved, but no matter how hard I try outside of my visits to her, or even when I am at her place, I Can never dissociate my brain from the feeling that I will not be able to sleep there no matter what I do, no matter how much sleeping meditation I take.

My mom was mad that I was leaving but I don’t really see it as abandoning my family because I am planning on returning at around 8:30 tomorrow morning, right around the time that most people in the household in question get up.

Context: I stayed at grandma’s last night and my sleep was decent but spotty kind of like spotty WiFi, coming and going every hour, (because I woke up every hour until 3 am.) making me feel kinda icky today. AITAH for wanting to make sure that I got enough sleep and that I wouldn’t be irritable in the morning so everyone would be more likely to have a good Easter? AITAH for leaving?