I apolgise for any mistakes in advance.

Here's some backstory: I'm 15 (F) have been with my friend group for three years. I hate lying and have tried to help people whenever i can. I've always treated people nicely, giving compliments all the time, supporting them with any situation, buying them food when they can't afford it, so on. I've had bad experiences with past friendshups where i was treated bad yet didn't relaise until too late so I've been trying to be less of a pushover.We all attend the same school and are quite close with each other. I've been with them through all the highs and lows, and felt like I found the group of friends that I'd be with till death.

I am considered to be a "therapist friend" in my friend group. Many people come to me about complaints in the form of rants/vents. They could be things such as a toxic ex, suicide attempt, and more. I started to notice that many people were having complaints about three members of our friend group for the same reasons. After a while, the complaints became too much. I was stressed already due to school and other issues such as operations and potential dyslexia (which they knew of) and I couldn't handle anymore rants/vents. I realised that everyone had a major problems about these three people and so, I asked some of them if I should make group chats about each of them so that everyone can compile their complaints and then we could speak to the people collectively (they were made at separate times, months apart) I asked the majority of the friend group for each of the groups chats and they agreed so I made them under the influence that it would help, nothing more.

People were ranting and we all decided to talk to the people when the issues were getting out of hand and affecting people to the extent that it should be discussed. The people who we would confront would understand what the issue was, apologise, and change. Everything was going as intended, except for one thing. Two people in the friend group would consistently abuse the platform I gave them and shit talk the friend, saying disgusting things such as death threats. I tried to keep these people in line and remind them why I made the group chats, yet I would be ignored. It got to the point where I would just accept it and fake laugh as I knew that it would be pointless to call them out. I would stay silent, except for when they would take thing to far. I was ignored of course, but there was withing I could do. Others noticed these people's behaviour, especially one of the friends who we'll call Emily. Emily would say the worst things but since everyone was scared of her due to her bad temper, no one could say anything.

Emily had the worst temper and would be furious over the smallest things. One time, she didn't speak to me for 3 hours because I accidentally dropped a small piece of her cookie. She got mad and walked off. Away from the rest of the friendgroup. She then came back but refused to speak to me. I apologised multiple times and offered to buy her another cookie, but she wouldn't have it. She always holds grudges and shit talks everyone so everyone became scared of her. This became a problem as people couldn't speak their thoughts and opinions around her and felt hurt by her outbursts, even if it was a small thing. We all love her, but it was getting ridiculous. However, Emily grew up with her mother who had anger issues and would constantly shout at her for the smallest things. Her abusive environment growing up was the main cause of her temper which is why no one wanted to call it out. She would frequently rant/vent about her home life, and her difficulties with her mother. It didn't feel fair for us to criticise her for something she struggled with.

The friend group reached a point where everyone had an issue with everyone and everything was crumbling. Following the advice of three people, I decided to write a lost of everything I heard to force people to discuss the issue instead of struggling with it.Things were going well, we knocked down many issues by talking to each other and helping the individual understand what they've been doing. There would be apologies and then happiness. However, Emily was furious at what I wrote about her: Emily had a temper. She was talking about her life story and how she felt hurt by what I said. I did research for her and recommended things such as apps and different anger management techniques but she was too angry to listen. She started hurting insults and destroying me, pointing out my struggles with my potential dyslexia and complaining about how I was such a terrible person for making the group chats. The issues had was that everyone complained wbiut her temper and that everyone had been hurt by her for years. I assumed that people would explain to Emily their issues instead of me being the mouthpiece for everyone, but I was sorely mistaken. Soon. She got everyone to attack me for I don't even know what. I was so surprised how no one wanted to talk about the issues they had that they stressed me out about, but had no hesitation when it came to shitting on me. I am fine with people having problems with me and I was more to talk about them, but it was going too far.

I was a mess. I was unable to defend myself due to the amount of people typing and I couldn't understand what I was in trouble for. I felt betrayed as no one spoke about their issues like they should've, not even the three people who advised the confrontation to happened and who were exited to speak about the issues. I also felt manipulated as everyone said that i made the group chats alone, and that no one helped me or encouraged me to do so. Here's the thing: when we confronted the three people who had group chats made about them, I told them about the group chats, apologised for ranting about them, and even told them everything I said. I did this when everything was fresh and I was forgiven. However, apparently no one remembered me apologising. No one also remembered me trying to keep the two people in line and people were saying that I also shit talked when I only ranted. The difference is that ranting is needed to get rid of frustration, whilst shit talking is because you want to, because you can, and usually results in horrible things being said. How could they not even remember my apologies?

I felt manipulated, used, and ignored. I was in a terrible state and my parents told me to block everyone so that's what I did. I blocked everyone and left every group chat. I then typed up a two page essay about what actually happened and how I felt. I sent this message to everyone via one of the only proper friend i had (out of two). Some of the replies were negative, while some were good and i received three apologies. I replied to the bad ones, to which I gained another reply. The only people who were still upset were the two shit talkers, one of them being Emily. I responded again, not sugarcoating anything or being a people pleaser. I pointed out how she was preaching about understating the pain I've caused, even though I've already apologised and that no one deserved to keep being hurt by her because she couldn't admit that she can't control her temper. Having a temper in her situation is understandable, but how she controls it is her choice. I had apologised a long time ago, while her apology was nowhere. Everyone had ranted, but I was the only one to apologise. Everyone has hurt someone, yet I was the only one to apologise. Everyone suggested I make a group chat at least once, yet I was the only one "hurting people" and the only one who apologised.

Everyone moved on after a final paragraph where i talked about how i felt like i was only a therpist snd not a friend. I wanted to mention how I deserve an apology too but knew that it would cause more of an issue. I was forgiven and allowed to stay in the friend group. However, I don't know if I want to stay. I love everyone so much and have had amazing times with them all, but I've been ignored, lied to, used, and manipulated for three years. It hurts so much and I don't feel comfortable with them anymore. I don't know if i should leave the friend group or not. All i wanted was to help the best way i knew how and the way many people suggested i do. But I'm not a therapist . I am 15 years old who shouldn't have to be dealing with any of this. I don't know if I'm overexaggerating or being dumb. I'm stuck and the holiday has ended which means that I'm going to have to see them tomorrow at school. They don't even recognise how they hurt me even though I wrote it out four times. In a friend group of eight, only three apologised.

What should I do? Should I stay and act like everything is fine? Or should I leave?