I (male, 18) have recently realized my nana is emotionally abusive, and sometimes physically abusive. She’s manipulative, controlling, and narcissistic. My nana has said to me, “F**k your feelings.” She also said that since I grew up to be so defiant, my mom should have hit me in the head with a phone — and that she was right to do so.

My mom has always been the same way. It’s been getting to be too much. I’m crying, feeling depressed every day, and desperately wanting to leave.

My nana took care of me when no one else did, and she gives me money. I know she loves me, but I think that’s not enough to continue living here.

Back in August 2024, after talking to her on the phone on and off for 5 months, I met my grandma on my dad’s side (he was absent too). I’m now starting to reconnect with the rest of my family. I’ve spent about 4 weekends there now, and while some of my grandma’s ways are like my nana’s, they’re not as bad and a lot less frequent. She’s even said those behaviors aren’t right.

I’m going to stay with her for a week to see if I feel it’s a better place for me.

AITA?