My boyfriend (27M) and I (29M) just had our 2 year anniversary last month. He was always a bit volatile. Dabbled in porn and nude modelling as soon as he turned legal then worked as an escort, all while getting swept up into relationship after relationship and moving from one guy’s place to the next’s. When I met him he was working odd hours in a roadside sex shop off the highway. I helped him find direction in his life and now he is happily tending bar and finishing up a degree.

He was always touchy about his past relationships; I took the hint and didn’t try to pry. From what I’ve gathered over the years though, he had a relationship that lasted longer than the rest and that he had a very hard time bouncing back from. Nothing he’s ever said has hinted at anything about a marriage so it never occurred to me that any of his relationships might have been of this nature.

Shifting focus, he was away last weekend. I got bored one night and just started digging around for porn he was in. I had never gone out of my way to look for his porn because he’s always insisted on keeping the door shut on this part of his past.

I turned up a video, then started flipping through the rest of his digital footprint out of sheer curiosity. Soon enough I came across a video where he was visibly much younger, and he had a ring on his ring finger. It looked like a proper wedding band. I was baffled.

I held off until he was back home to set things straight. He broke down crying. He doesn’t do well under stress so it took a while to pry answers out of him, but as it turns out he eloped at 20 with a guy that was 27 that he had been seeing since he was 17. The guy was abusive and they divorced 3 years later when bf was 23…

After explaining himself though, my boyfriend worked himself up into this chiding wrath and started pointing the finger at me for ‘breaching his trust’ by going out of my way to nose into a dark chapter of his life.

But I think a previous marriage is a massive part of your life to not let your partner in on for 2 years. I think that’s the real breach of trust here. I’m fine not being told about your high school flings from 10 yrs ago… but a whole marriage is different.

AITA?