Throwaway because he'll absolutely see my main. I, 37F and my husband, 39M have been drifting apart quite a bit in the past few years. His father passed of cancer nearly two years ago. He quit his job a year before he passed, with plans to take a few months off to do household maintenance. He didn't do any. He then half-heartedly cared for his dad for about three weeks before he died. Started studying to cover his free time and then started doing related volunteer work. All up, he hasn't brought income into the home since 2021 and has left me alone to keep everything paid for the most part. He does small jobs for cash which he uses on himself and has committed just as much time per week to his volunteer work time as I do to my job. The volunteer work isn't in any way helping people. It's work at a garden centre. Related to his previous studies, but does not lead to paid work. He believes eventually they will maybe give him a management role and he will have a job. This could never happen or take years to eventuate. So far it's been a full year of near full time, nights and weekend work for nothing. Leaving me alone to do everything else except cooking meals (if he has time or feels like it)

The concern about my asshole status stems from the following. He calls it work. He says he's going to work everyday. If I need help with something, he says he has to go to work instead. My response is..."what will they do, fire you?" Because it's just volunteer weeding and propagation. He's not feeding the hungry or helping the disabled. So AITAH for thinking he's not actually working and he need a paying job?

Tl:dr my husband volunteers at a garden centre and says it's work. I disagree. AITAH?