I (29M) have been friends with “Jake” (30M) since college. We were roommates, travelled together, been through each other’s breakups, job losses, all of it. I’ve always considered him one of my closest friends — the kind you’d drop everything for.

When he got engaged last year, I was honestly excited for him. I helped him look at venues, stayed up late helping him write his vows, even helped mediate a fight between him and his fiancée over something stupid about table arrangements.

He kept saying I’d “definitely be standing up there with him,” so I figured I was going to be one of the groomsmen. I even turned down a work trip (which would’ve paid really well) just to make sure I was free for the wedding week.

Then a month before the wedding, I got a regular invite in the mail. No call, no heads-up. I texted him thinking maybe there was a mix-up, and he said, “Oh man, I wish I could’ve had more people up there, but we had to keep the party small.” The groomsmen? A bunch of his newer coworkers and a guy he’s known through his fiancée for two years.

I didn’t blow up or anything. I just said I couldn’t make it due to a schedule change. It wasn’t technically a lie — I ended up taking that work trip. Now he’s telling people I bailed on his “most important day” and “ghosted him” without an explanation.

AITAH for just not going?