Alright, so boom. Me (19M) and my girlfriend (18F) are going through a very rough patch after she admitted to saying “I love you” to one of her female friends. And while that’s fine—I didn’t see a problem or anything—it wasn’t until I went through her phone that I saw the extent. They were full of saying intimate things to each other, even mentioning my name.

For example, said friend said something along the lines of, “I’m sorry for getting in the middle of you and (my name).” She said things along the line of it multiple times from what I was reading, and my girlfriend reassured it by saying things like, “It’s ok, it’s my fault, I love you so much.”

So after reading, I felt sick to my stomach—I think I nearly vomited. And to make things worse, it was on April Fools’ Day, and I was just praying for it to be a sick joke—but it wasn’t.

So anyway, fast forward to when I’m done reading. She’s apologizing, saying she loves me, I’m the only one she loves and all that bull. And mind you, I’ve blown up at her before—I rarely, if ever, raise my voice at her. I’m a very gentle person, but she brought something out of me that day and I went off. I didn’t yell, but I said some things I honestly don’t wish to take back—but I apologized for afterward.

But here’s the other problem—I have an extreme soft spot for this girl. Mind you, this isn’t my first time being cheated on, but this is the first time I’ve stayed with someone who’s cheated.

Also, side note: I asked if I could speak to this friend, and I was nothing but respectful. I asked her friend, “So why did you do this when you knew she was in a relationship?” and she just says “I don’t know” to every single thing I say. So I leave it. Then my girlfriend ends up texting her.

Here’s the kicker—this is hilarious, by the way—her friend was lovebombing her, just playing her for fun. And she shows me messages. All I could do was laugh, and I said, “Extremely embarrassing for you to cheat and get played.” And I’ve still been saying things about it—just making fun of her for it, throwing shade—because it’s how I’ve been coping.

But today she said something about it. She texted me and said, “Hey (my name), I think we shouldn’t talk for a few days. You’ve been being insensitive after the whole situation.”

I still haven’t replied to her message, but I don’t feel like I should apologize either, because it’s my way of coping and picking up the pieces of the mess she made.

tldr: Girlfriend cheated, I stayed now she’s upset that I make fun of her for getting lovebombed by said fling