I (27M) have a friend we’ll call J (25-26F) who I met about a year before meeting my partner G (23F). J had a boyfriend when I met her. Our friend group consisted of J, another girl, and 3 of us guys (plus J’s partner). J likes gossip, drama, etc.

J is flirtatious despite having a partner and would compliment, tease, and joke flirtatiously. She would also start to think that guys liked her, including myself and another guy in our group (maybe all?). When she got drunk, if she felt like it, she would say “he used to like me” about multiple guys, and we were all used to not correcting her (if it was about us) or not questioning it at all. If we did, she would jokingly say something like “oh so you’re saying I’m not pretty?”

As you can see, I felt like correcting her was not possible or would not help.

After I met G, I introduced her to my friends pretty early. She knew J for about two years before J started to make plans to leave the country.

One group night, most likely with drinks involved, J had said to G that I used to like J before I met G, something I had not prepared G for. I remember telling G that I’m sorry for not telling her that J used to say that. She doesn’t recall me telling her.

We started to discuss this night recently and G feels hurt that J had the audacity to say that to her and feels like J shouldn’t go around telling people that, because we are in a relationship and she needs to know her boundaries. I understand and share her feelings, and I think I could have easily said something, but in the time I thought that avoiding confrontation like we have in the past was the best move.

I can personally think of 4 other guys who she said she thinks are into her or likes her, and no one ever denies it.

G thinks I should have corrected her then, but I think not making a scene or big deal was also sparing extra embarrassment for G, since I know that J wants drama. My justification for not confronting J was that our friend group is aware of how J is.

AITAH?

Side notes:

• I think she was trying to cause drama because she was leaving the country soon.

• G feels like J was/is thinking that she can get her man if she wants but J is just embarrassing herself