I was in an abusive relationship for 11 years and needed to get out. My mom let me move back in to her 2 bedroom apartment.

I've been here for almost 2 years now. I pay her $500 a month. I'm working to get back on my feet. I work as much as possible, all the time, everyday. So I'm rarely home and weekends I usually spend at my bfs I have 2 cats with me. My mom feeds my cats when I'm gone. For context I'm 35 and my mom is 70 and just retired this year.

I make my presence here as minimal as possible. I clean up after myself. I do all my own dishes, keep my room clean, my laundry, the bathroom all as clean as possible. I clean up my food after I use the kitchen. I make sure the litter boxes are always clean, I vacuum twice a week when I empty the boxes. Majority of the time I'm only here to relax after working and to go to bed.

We had a strained relationship when I was a teen and her and my dad divorced. She has a terrible relationship with both of my brothers. One she no longer talks to. And the other is always close to the same outcome with her.

Living back with her for a couple years has brought up past bad memories. I've since remember how she'd kick me out as a teen so she could have men over. So she could drink. She was very controlling. She never used the child support for anything I needed. She even wrote me a letter telling me I was a burden and it was my fault she couldn't have a relationship (because I lived with her). As I got older I bounced around to my boyfriends houses over the years and then ended up in my 11 yr relationship and now im back here.

Some of the same patterns are coming up and the dynamics is less so roommates and more so parent and child. I feel like a burden here. I am grateful for the place to live. I am grateful i had a place to go and that I do only pay $500.

She has told me I use too many spoons. So I reuse the same one or two always. She's told me she hates the dishwasher.. so I hand wash all my dishes.. she has told me I make too many dishes.. I try to use less.. she has told me I make too much garbage.. we both take it down but because my cat food cans go in it she says it's more my garbage even though she puts large items and coffee cups that fill the garbage much faster.. I predominantly am the one who takes the garbage down anyways but we argue about this. I put too much stuff in the washing machine. I once washed my bfs sweaty gym clothes and she lost it. She's paranoid about it running while no one is here so she turns it off. Same with the dryer. Even when we are home she turns the dryer off because I let it run too long? Even tho it's on a setting? My clothes end up damp all the time but she says they're dry. I don't ask her ever to do anything with my laundry. I buy my own laundry soap (she asked me to, so I don't use hers, this is fine) I can't have anything on the counters. I keep a slow cooker, blender and juicer away in a closet. Her stuff is on the counter.. its her place, I get it.

My whole life is crammed in to a room and closet. I essentially just rent a room here. The space under my bed is packed. She was keeping a giant suitcase under my bed but she went away for 2 weeks, took it out and I had to put some of my things under my bed and now her suitcase won't fit. She has a walk in closet with tons of space. She's pissed I won't put her suitcase under bed. My room is exploding my stuff. My shelves are full, my closet is full, under my bed is full. And not in an ideal way either. I have shoes under my bed, I have kitchen items in my closet, I have clothing in my book shelf. All I have here is a room.

I asked her for a roll of toilet paper one time because I ran out and didn't realize and she lost it at me. Had a full melt down, crying "I bought that with my money!!"

She has had meltdowns over the spoons, over the dishes. Crying.

She recently told me it pisses her off I don't do her dishes.

I don't want to do her dishes. I clean for a living. I clean up after myself, I put everything away as much as possible. I do all of my dishes always. She leaves her shit our constantly. She says I'm disrespectful that I don't do her dishes. That I don't pay "real" rent here, she's given me a place no problem. I should be doing more for her.

The first time my bf came over and made dinner for me and we ate at the table and made a puzzle. My mom flipped the next day and told me it felt like my apartment that SHE moved in to. She then got rid of the table and chairs.

It's uncomfortable being here. I want to move out, it's scary moving out, it's expensive to move out. I am 100% grateful for this from her but I hate being here because she makes me feel like I'm such a bother to her. I understand I need to just get out and I'm trying.

I vacuum twice a week when I clean up after the cats. She still vacuums at least once or twice on top of that because she "hates foot prints". It gets vacuumed 3-4 times a week in this tiny apartment so sometimes I don't always do the whole space. That's a problem.

Shes brought up a couple times now how it pisses her off so much that I don't donher dishes and I just should be doing them. Now she says she won't feed my cats if I leave for the night (fine, I will come and go and feed them) I know she is wrong in some of the stuff she argues. I know I just need to leave.

Aitah for not doing her dishes?