This is going to be a bit long winded but you need context for why I feel like my dad has no right to be involved in one of the most important days of my life.

So let's start at the beginning. My dad was a good father, I had a good childhood and our family was pretty normal. My parent's have known each other since they were children, their moms actually met because they were in the same hospital room to give birth. They grew up together, were childhood sweethearts and were together properly since they were 18.

About 8 years ago, my dad had a mental breakdown. He literally lost the plot. He came to me and told me that my mom was having affairs with all of their friend's husbands and that she was trying to kill him. He told me not to tell my mom but our family is incredibly open with one another so I just could not keep this secret. I spoke with my mom and she was absolutely shocked and burst in to tears because she said she has never touched another man.

So we tried to talk to him and make him see reason but he was stuck in these delusions. There was absolutely no proof of my mom ever doing anything. She also worked from home and never really went out so when was she having all of these affairs? He was so delusional about everything that we knew we couldn't help him so we got him to agree to go get help at a stay in facility. And that was a waste of time and money. We got no answers and he came out still believing all of these crazy delusions.

My parents stayed together even though I said that they should separate. For my mom, this was really hard because she worked for my dad as his administrator and they were so financially intertwined that it didn't seem possible for her to go her own way without her whole life falling apart.

Fast forward to 3 years ago. My dad ended up not coming home one night, which has never happened before. My mom came to me and told me that she thinks he is cheating. He came home in the morning and confirmed that. We were all devastated. It felt like a betrayal of our whole family because we had put up with so much of his shit and then for him to do that to my mom when she has been nothing but gracious, infuriated me. He said it was a mistake and he didn't mean to. My mom said that he would have to work for her forgiveness.

Well. It gets worse. It was 2 weeks later and a Friday night, and my mom comes rushing in to my room in a state. She just hands her phone to me and what I saw made me see red like I have never before. He had sent her a picture of himself with a woman. It was them both smiling at the camera, this women's boobs were basically falling out of her shirt and they were clearly at a bar. My mom and I both knew this was the woman he was sleeping with, we just knew it. It wasn't anyone we knew so it had to be. So I actually recognised the red lighting at this bar and knew it was the bar like not even 1km away from our house. So we decide to go confront him because you don't get to be malicious and then have a good night, oh no sir. So we drove to the bar, my mom, sister and me. And when we saw him and his stupid friend with two women, we lost our shit. Screaming at the top of our lungs and causing a scene and honestly being so ratchet, I have never been so angry in my life. And I think I was that angry because my mom did not deserve to be treated like that and we just would not let his actions slide without letting him know how fucked up it was.

So after that whole ordeal, they finally decide to separate. Buuut he comes back to the house and they end up still living together and working together. He thought everything would be fine but my mom wanted a divorce. She was done with his bullshit. So she did everything, all he did was sign some documents. They wemt to mediators and lawyers and did it all amicably.

The day the divorce was finalised and a done deal, he lost his marbles again. Like he thought my mom was just threatening a divorce and wouldn't actually do it. He was screaming and shouting and not making sense and my mom called me in tears and said she was scared because he was acting crazy. We kicked him out and that was one of the last times I have spoken to my dad in person.

Since then, he has actively tried to fuck my mother over in any way he can. He fired her illegally from her job even when he promised all of us that he wouldn't. He has tried to take control and just take everything from her pretty much. My mom has been supporting my sister as she is studying and my dad has not helped at all. He has literally dropped our family and feels he isn't responsible for anything anymore.

I just got engaged to my partner who has been around for 9 years. He has seen what this has done to me and he agrees with me. I don't have any contact with my dad because he continues to try to fuck my mom over, not help my sister and he still has crazy delusions. I just had to cut the cancer out. He is a toxic human. I have tried and I just can't have someone who constantly hurts the people I love in my life. It's just a no from me.

With wedding planning, everyone has been very vocal about the fact that I should invite my dad to my wedding. Especially my gran, my mom's mom. She says that he deserves to be there only because he is my dad. And my response is that i wouldn't even go have a coffee with this man, nevermimd him having the privilege of being there for my wedding.

There is obviously so much more to this story, so many years of details that I couldn't include because I'll be typing forever. What I have mentioned are just important bits that I think pertain to the years of turmoil that has been life.

So what do you think? AITAH for not even considering inviting my dad to my wedding?