Hello! Looking for some advice

My husband and I have been dating since we were 15 now we are both 28. We have a bit of a strained relationship with his parents. It has gotten better over the years but they much favor his younger two brothers who are 13 and 20. They are Russian Jewish Americans and are not happy that I am not from their culture but they have gotten over it over the years (they will never admit it but it’s clearly an issue). They are very wealthy, and spend a lot of money on the younger two sons. My husband has had a job since he was 16 and mostly paid his way, his brother is 20 has never worked and has his dad’s credit card that he uses for everything. They tend to want my husband around when they have their family over or their rich friends, because it makes them look good. Especially since I had our daughter two years ago, suddenly they want us around to look like the perfect family. I believe that is enough background.

In December my BIL turned 13. His parents wanted his barmitzvah party to be in March. We had a dinner party at their house for my BIL and we gave him a gift. From what I remember it was some sort of action figure that he wanted. Fast forward to last week we had the barmitzvah party. We went to the entire thing including the long synagogue service. My father in law who mostly ignores my husband invited him over today to eat leftovers from the party. I thought this was weird but didn’t think much of it, maybe he’s trying to connect with him.

Well I was wrong. My husband and our daughter entered the house and my FIL immediately started berating him for not giving him a large cash barmitzvah gift, citing the rich uncle who gave his son 1k for the event. My husband explained that we gave him a gift on his birthday and that we went to the service and party and the gift should not be the most important thing, and my FIL just went on to say we weren’t raised right and how we need to provide a large cash gift for his son. His son has expressed to us joy that he has over 10k from this event, meanwhile we live a very modest life, live in a tiny house, share a car, not to mention I am about to have our second child and have not been able to work due to pregnancy related complications.

AITAH? What do I do? Dip into our baby savings to provide my wealthy in laws with a cash gift? Ignore them? Thank you in advanced for reading.