This is mostly for me, because I personally feel bad. Nobody has accused me of anything, but this has caused me a bit of grief all day.

In 2022, I lost my dad. I’m nearing 40, but this was still a huge blow, as he was my last remaining form of familial support, having lost my mom years before and just not being close with the rest of the family.

Everyone came out of the woodwork when I let them know my dad passed. Blowing up my phone when I was still trying to deal with the sudden loss, so I didn’t call people back. They all said the same thing. “If you need anything, call.”

Then, nothing. I haven’t heard from ANY of them, unless someone else had died. I dealt with my issues, by myself, or with the help of friends. I basically have no family, besides my daughter, who lives with me.

Yesterday, my cousin messages me on facebook, an app I don’t check and do not get notifications on, telling me to call their house as one of my uncles, the one I actually liked, had a heart attack. No information on where he is. No information on if he survived. I don’t see the message until midnight. Immediately try to call before realizing how long it had been since they messaged, and messaged back.

I called again this morning. Again this afternoon. No response. Their phone won’t take me to an answering machine or voicemail, it just asks for an access code. I message my cousin on facebook. No response. He posted something, unrelated, but has not responded to me.

I don’t know what to do here. I can’t just blow off work with no details. I can’t just stop earning a living and search all over the metro area. And I have no idea if their house is the same, or if they moved. I’ve had the same number for nearing 20 years, so I don’t get why they reached out to me on facebook rather than call or text.

AITAH or WIBTAH if I just gave up? I have largely been doing okay without dealing with them all. But, he was my dad’s baby brother. I’ve always liked him. I just, don’t know what to do.

It’s only been one day, and it is already stressing me out. I don’t know what level of effort I should be putting into a group of people that put next to no effort in being there for me, when I had lost a huge part of my world.

My ex wife who cheated on me and left my daughter and I provided more support when she found out my dad died. So part of me feels bitter and angry that they couldn’t be bothered to ever reach out just to check on me, let alone be bothered to contact me on a real form of communication.