I recently got married, and while the day was mostly wonderful, there’s been some fallout with my dad that’s been really hard to deal with.

My (30F) dad and I have had a rocky relationship most of my life. He wasn’t really around consistently when I was growing up. My mom did most of the heavy lifting raising me and my siblings, emotionally and financially. There were times he tried to come back into our lives, but it always felt like walking on eggshells. Lots of drama, unpredictable moods, guilt-tripping, it was really really exhausting.

Honestly, I didn’t feel comfortable having him walk me down the aisle on my wedding. It didn’t feel authentic or right given our history. I was originally unsure about even inviting him, but after some conversations with my family, I decided to extend an invite out of respect. We even had a lunch beforehand where I told him gently that I’d be walking down the aisle on my own, and he seemed to understand at the time.

Well… apparently he didn’t. After the wedding, he told a bunch of family members that he was hurt and felt like I embarrassed or rejected him. Now some relatives are calling me selfish or heartless, saying “he’s still your dad” and that I should’ve just given him that moment.

I don’t hate my dad. I just didn’t want to pretend like we had a relationship we don’t have, especially on a day that was really personal and meaningful to me. I wasn’t trying to hurt him, I was trying to protect my peace, but with all the backlash I’ve gotten from some of our relatives, this has been sitting heavy on my heart 🥲 Is it really a bad decision? AITAH?