I (21F) and my friend A planned to see the Minecraft movie on Monday and invited our group. Friend B said she preferred Tuesday because of a discount. A and I offered to cover her Monday ticket — it was only $10, and we wanted as many of us to go together as possible. Monday also worked best for most people, and A’s boyfriend could only make it that day. They’ve been together for almost a year, and I hadn’t met him yet, so I was looking forward to it too.

B declined the offer, saying it was “depressing” to have others pay for her and that she didn’t want to feel in debt to anyone. A and B are close and often trade favors, so we didn’t think it would be a big deal. We emphasized it was just a movie ticket and we were offering because we wanted her there, not to put her in an awkward position.

Things got unexpectedly serious after this. For context: last October, friends D and E were in a serious car crash. E was discharged relatively quickly, but D was hospitalized for weeks and even briefly died. It was really horrifying news, and as a group, we tried to be supportive in the ways we could and knew how.

During the movie argument, D suddenly sent a long message saying she felt we were trying to pressure B into something she didn’t want to do. She also expressed feeling hurt that only a couple people reached out to her after the accident, and that she felt excluded by the group.

I felt awful hearing that, so I replied and apologized — I told her I genuinely didn’t realize she felt that way, and if there’s anything we as a group could do to support her, to let us know. I also tried to bring the convo back to the original point — that this started as a silly movie scheduling thing that got more heated than it should have.

Unfortunately, D and her boyfriend didn’t respond well. They dismissed my apology and said that if we really cared, we would’ve shown it back when she was in the hospital. Her boyfriend also mocked my job (I work security), saying I could’ve sent a check-in text rather than being in “la la land.”

The thing is, I don’t know D or her boyfriend well at all. We’re in the same group chat, but I can count the amount of times we’ve hung out in the past year+ on one hand. They’re basically just mutuals. I didn’t go to school with them like some of the others did. I didn’t reach out much after the accident, and I didn’t visit because of work, personal issues, and I assumed it was a time for her closer friends and family. I realize now that even a message might have meant a lot, but that was never communicated to me or A (since we shared the same criticism from D).

I definitely would’ve visited if D or her boyfriend had expressed that my absence would hurt them. I just had a lot of heavy stuff going on at the time, too. When D missed our group’s holiday party, I tried to include her and her boyfriend by getting them gifts. I brought that fact up and they dismissed it as well since I didn’t personally send a text to D.

Ever since this, the group chat has gone silent. So now I’m confused and I feel bad. I never wanted to hurt anyone — we just wanted to see a movie as a group, and I thought offering to pay for a friend’s ticket was a kind gesture. But now it feels like I’m being accused of being a bad friend for not doing enough. I genuinely feel bad for D and what she went through, but does not texting her make me a horrible person? AITA?