This is my first time posting here so my bad if I’m not following the guidelines down to a T.

Basically Me (35M) And my mother haven’t really had the best relationship throughout my life. She’s always chosen men over her children, my younger sister (Trigger Warning) committed suicide while mom was away from the country chasing a man back in 2013 and I somewhat find her responsible for it. I moved out of my mom’s house when I was about 11 and it wasn’t easy. My grandmother whom I love more than life itself fought for my guardianship.. she gave me everything i needed plus more and I have a beautiful family now and was able to move away from my hometown and I’ve been away for about 10 years now. I used all the tools and knowledge my grandma raised and instilled in me to make something of my life. If I’d had stayed with my mother, I’d probably be dead or in jail. So I really owe this woman my life. She’s The absolute love of my life I can’t stress this enough.

Unfortunately my grandmother passed away a year ago at a beautiful 90 years old and after also burying my father a year after my sister, it feels like I have no parents left. I told my other sister that and her words were “you’re buggin, mom is still alive” so I said nah that’s your mom. And it’s been this huge mess ever since.

Now I do get criticized by my family a lot because I don’t make an effort to visit my mom or create moments for her and her grandchild to bond and they absolutely love eachother.. but my mom never made efforts for my grandma and myself to bond. And it’s not that im purposely blocking them, im just not making an effort. She should take advantage of her free time and make that effort but nope she spends her free time partying.

My grandma was just always there. All the time. She was present all the time… she would leave work tired and come visit us instead of going home. She would spend her days off with us. She would take us on vacations as kids. My mom is pushing 60 and goes out to night clubs with my younger sisters. I’ve also shaken hands with one too many boyfriends and at my age I feel like it’s just disrespectful to even introduce me.

In the latest development, my mom is now engaged and when I was sent the engagement video in our family group chat which I honestly just use to send pictures of my kid to my mom and siblings…. I said “okay” . There were jokes about my kid being the ring bearer and me being a groomsman I said for me to be a groomsman I’d have to physically be there. Now I’m getting killed with you won’t go to your mom’s wedding? From literally everyone… my lady, my friends, my siblings.

The one thing everyone says to me is …”it’s your mom bro” nah man I buried my mom last year. This woman feels more like an aunt than my mother and at 35 years old I should be able to set boundaries in my life and not be persecuted for them.

Whenever I talk to my mother about it I get this whole show of tears and you don’t know how hard it’s been and blah blah blah and I just want to be happy and not alone and I’ve been this way forever and I’m not going to change and whoever doesn’t like it can fuck off… okay you got it so when I actually fuck off. Like all the way off, how am I the asshole? lol