📝 AITAH for not telling my entitled friend it wasn’t a gift foe her?

By CardSpecialist7093 • Score: 1 • April 4, 2025 5:49 AM


PS: I've used AI since, English is not my first language.

The evening held the promise of Jaya's party, the reason for celebration a hazy mix of belated birthday and perhaps an award. I arrived, a thoughtful gift nestled in a delivery bag, its design hinting at jewelry. But the familiar sting of being the only gift-bearer at a party prickled my skin. Past social anxieties resurfaced, and I opted for discretion, the delivery bag remaining a silent companion throughout the lively gathering. Throughout the entire party, I made no mention of the bag's contents, never hinting that it was a gift for Jaya or anyone else. I mingled, enjoyed conversations, and even had a good time later in the evening, all while the delivery bag stayed quietly by my side, its purpose unspoken.

As I journeyed home with my father, the quiet was shattered by a shrill, accusatory voice on my phone. It was Jaya. "Where is my gift?" she demanded, her tone sharp and entitled, assuming the contents of my delivery bag were meant for her. I was taken aback, having never presented or even mentioned it. Later that night, the situation escalated to the truly bizarre. Around 10 PM, Jaya and her mother appeared uninvited at my doorstep.

My mother, understanding my initial party discomfort, was taken aback. Jaya's mother immediately launched into an abusive tirade, her voice laced with contempt. "You think you can come to a party and not give a gift? What kind of cheap upbringing do you have?" she spat, her language so crude it shocked my family. She dismissed my attempts to explain, fixated on speaking to my mother while clinging to her in an unsettling manner. Hypocritically, she declared, "If my daughter behaved so shabbily, I would disown her!" all while behaving reprehensibly herself. Adding to the absurdity, Jaya's mother declared, "All her other friends gave gifts at her home!" completely disregarding the fact that I was not privy to private gift exchanges. She further elaborated, "And one of her friends hugged her and showed her so much love!" In stark contrast to Jaya's mother's apparent need for external validation and gifts to feel loved, the belonging needs of the people in my home are met through genuine affection and strong relationships, primarily within their partnerships and family bonds, not through the expectation or receipt of material possessions from acquaintances. I patiently tried to explain that I never claimed the gift was for Jaya, highlighting her unfounded assumption and her own behavior – attending my party empty-handed and even borrowing ₹500 for her electric scooter's phantom petrol needs. But logic was lost on Jaya's mother, who seemed fixated on the perceived value suggested by the delivery bag. "Don't you know Jaya deserves good things? You probably brought some cheap trinket anyway!" she sneered. She even had the audacity to demand that my father come out to speak to her, "Bring your father here! Let me talk to the man of the house!" a request he met with amused indifference.

Throughout their tirade, I repeatedly interjected, trying to inject some sense into the situation. "But when did I say it was for you?" I asked, my voice rising in frustration. "You're making assumptions! It's not my fault you just decided it was yours! Throughout the entire evening at your party, I never once indicated this belonged to you or was intended as a gift for you!" I kept pressing, "Tell me, just once, when did I indicate this was for you? If assumptions worked that way, then the Taj Mahal is mine because I visited it and no one explicitly told me it wasn't!" My attempts to highlight the absurdity of their logic and the fact that their entire outrage was based on their own unwarranted expectations left me feeling increasingly exasperated and unheard. According to Jaya's mother's warped logic, my own mother should have perhaps visited their home at 11 PM that night, questioning Jaya about her ₹500 petrol money needs. However, we operate on a different plane, with bigger issues to occupy our minds than chasing down petty sums based on someone else's questionable dealings.

Finally, with a final, dismissive wave and a string of abusive parting words as if she owned my home, Jaya's mother and Jaya left. It was a stark contrast to the beautiful ambiance and positive energy that usually filled my spacious home, twice the size of theirs and situated in a posh area. In such an upscale location like mine, an unannounced arrival at 10 PM, especially with such aggressive behavior, could have justifiably been met with a call to the police, potentially leading to their arrest had I simply refused them entry. However, my upbringing and manners dictated a different response, leading me to allow them into my home despite their shocking lack of decorum. The moment the door closed, a wave of laughter erupted in our home. My father shook his head, marveling, "Can you believe someone could be so desperate for a gift?"

Later, recounting the saga to my friends, their reactions ranged from uncontrollable laughter to shocked disbelief. One friend jokingly suggested replacing their monthly help with Jaya, while another, astounded by their pettiness and confidence, urged me to share the tale on Reddit for a collective laugh. Another friend, hearing about their desperation, suggested a truly ironic and generous act: potentially making Jaya the recipient of his program that funds three girls' education. The night, a blend of social anxiety and surreal absurdity, became a memorable anecdote of entitlement and a delivery bag that held more drama than any jewelry inside.

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