I have this friend who I have known for 3 years now. He used to live a town a way but now lives states away. When he was in the same state, hanging out with him could be... draining? There was always a problem and it was always bigger than mine OR we would hang out and he would really take over the "what are we doing" of everything. I would go over and the bar would be picked out or the movie or the board game... Honestly, it was nice to have a friend who wanted to hang out with me and I didn't have to think about what was going. We even went on a trip together for my birthday and it was a great time... minus the night they said that I was "ignoring them" because it was two couples and two single people. I was one of the two singles and my friend was engaged at the time. We were at an amusement so two people per car so... yeah the single dude and I became friend for the trip. My friend yelled at me the day before my birthday and went on about how selfish I was being on the trip. It later turned out that him and his partner were having a major fight (they are no longer together) and so he was "stressed" but this was when I was potentially being kicked out of my house... which he knew and I needed the breather... I did not need to be screamed at for my "selfish attitude" but that is neither here nor there.

Now, it has been been a year since I have seen them in person and months since we talked on the phone. They want to call and talk because my life has been chaotic and I haven't had the mental space to want to call so I have been avoiding it... Also, they are NOT texters which is exceedingly frustrating as a full time student and employee with ADHD. I forget to text back sometimes but phone calls are physically PAINFUL sometimes... Aside from that, the truth is that... I do not want to talk to them... I am hanging by a literal thread and I know if I talk to them they will vent to me about their drama OR they will listen and give me unhelpful advice (such as move to their state which I do NOT want to do) OR they will make me feel guilty for not calling sooner. I feel awful about not wanting to talk to them but I... do not want to. I love them and I think they are fun to be around but I don't feel like crying on the phone with them... but I don't know if I will ever WANT to call... AITAH for not wanting to call my friend but not necessarily wanting to end the friendship either? I am hella conflicted...