I (18F) have been in a situationship with, let’s call him A (19M) for over a year now. I’m going to try and make a very long story short. Just for some context I met A through mutuals and after some conversation and texting over the course of a few weeks, I realised that I was very sexually attracted to A and wanted a FWB kinda situation, no strings attached. Eventually I developed feelings for A (and yes I realise that I’m the one that broke the initial deal). I should mention that A is financially very unstable. Like doesn’t have a dollar in his account kinda unstable as he is unemployed and is still in college. A barely receives any financial help from his family. So when we started talking, I started helping him out financially a lot. It started off with ordering food for him or paying his rent.

Another major detail to mention is that A is in debt. He had to pay off an amount that he used to have the money for but blew it due to reasons that I don’t wanna mention but let’s j say they weren’t good. So since he had this debt he had to start saving up, for which I suggested moving in with me so he won’t have to pay rent and start saving that money. Eventually he moved in with me. Before he was having a things with me, he had this other situationship that I clarified multiple times whether she was still in his life or not, to which he told me every time that she wasn’t (they were also living together) but eventually I found out that he was lying and indeed they were still in contact.

One night I went through his phone and found that he was talking, meeting, sleeping with multiple girls. Now before you tell me that it was me that caught feelings for him, the timeline of us living together and me checking his phone is 6 to 7 months after our initial agreement throughout which he’s told me multiple times about how much he loved me and wanted to marry me. So I was furious after finding those things on his phone and confronted him where he cried n begged and basically I took him back.

Since then, it’s been multiple times where u have gone through his phone and found out the same things and yet again, every single time he’s begged n I’ve taken him back every time. Now we still aren’t officially dating so eventually I gave up and stopped checking his phone knowing that there’s no point in doing so because I already know what’s in it yet I wont do anything about it like leaving him so there’s no point in just seeing those things. By now, it’s been over a year and I am full blown paying for everything. From small to big. My main problem here is the fact that he has no respect for me. He is a man child. He never cleans, cooks, or does anything around the house. And when I remind him to either clean the house or at least not dirty it more, he gets more mad.

All he does the entire day is complain about everything I’m doing wrong and has fun with his friends. We have also gotten physical with each other multiple times. Now I am not a saint. I have gotten violent too. But I don’t think getting violent with each other literally every single time we have an argument is healthy, I mean none of this is. Our mutual friends have told me multiple times that he’s only with me for the money and the reason be breaks down when j suggest leaving him cause he’s scared of losing his ATM. Now that you know the back story, I am physically, mentally and emotionally very exhausted. This story is a general gist of the situation but if I get into the stories that’s happened this past year, you will bully me for letting all this slide.

I am fully aware that I’ve done this to myself. I should’ve ended it the second I saw the first red flag but I didn’t and now it’s too late. The reason I say that it’s too late is the same reason why I’ve taken him back every time. I am attached. Like you can’t even imagine. I am extremely scared at the thought of not having him around anymore. It’s pathetic of me I know, but I don’t know what to do anymore because I know that the right decision is to let him go but I just am not able to.

Now that I’m so exhausted I want to stop paying for him and kick him out of my house but he broke down again and told me he had nowhere to go. I told him to go to the girls that he prioritised over me and eventually gave in yet again. Another reason I keep forgiving him is because I truly feel sorry for him. Like pity. I mean yeah if I do kick him out, he truly will have no where to go, what will he do? How will he survive without me? He’d be a mess he’d be lost. I don’t know what to do.