So this has been on my mind for awhile and felt like it needed some outside input. For years, I've been friends with a guy, "Dave", who has just.. always been a piece of shit. The typical friend that only contacts you when he needs something, or when he wants to talk shit about other people. He's also the type to have a very mean-spirited sense of humor. I couldn't tell you why I stuck around with him for so long.. but I did. Over the course of knowing him, he'd burnt bridges between me and countless people, and had sabotaged several of my romantic relationships by simply just starting stupid drama. And this is a grown man, not a bitchy highschool girl. I'm not special in that regard either, I'd witnessed him do the same thing to dozens of people, but somehow always talked his way out of responsibility for it. Several times I tried talking to him, explaining why I didn't appreciate the shit he would do, and he'd pull the classic "it hurts my feelings that I hurt your feelings" victim card. So eventually I just gave up and blocked him on everything. Much to the relief of me and many people, he moved away to another state with his pregnant girlfriend. This was a couple years ago and haven't heard a thing about him, and there's been nowhere near as much drama in my life. I've definitely developed some serious trust issues when it comes to friends now because of him, but I'm sure I'll recover from that eventually.

Recently, I'd checked my message requests and found a message from him, simply saying hey. I felt like just ignoring him, but I also felt like being short with him to give the hint that I wasn't interested in speaking to him. I asked him "why are you messaging me?" And he hit me with some guilt-tripping bullshit about how he doesn't know why I don't like him anymore since we'd known each other for so long and all this lame shit. I probably wouldn't have given him a chance anyway, but judging by that response, he hadn't changed one bit. If he had changed, he would have started his message with an apology.

I was talking to a mutual friend, "Alan" and they'd brought up talking to "Dave" again, and while I didn't respond negatively, I just made it clear that I wasn't interested. "Alan" is a little oblivious to things like this, because he tried convincing me that "Dave" has changed and misses us and everything, simply because that's what he was told, and I just ended the conversation right then and there. I'm willing to bet that "Dave" mentioned me and our brief exchange to "Alan", because that's very on-brand for him when he doesn't get his way : involving other people, but it only reinforced my decision to keep him cut out of my life. I feel bad being callous to "Alan" about it, because he's a decent guy, but I have no more time in my life rehashing dumb shit and definitely have no more time explaining myself and why I choose to do things. My relationship with "Alan" is perfectly normal, so as long as "Dave" isn't brought up, everything is fine. We've interacted many times since then and it's been business as usual, so I know he doesn't think anything of it

But just for peace of mind I'd like to ask you.. AITAH?