I moved to a city a few years ago and found a friend group that I love and appreciate. It consisted of me, two other women, and a guy. We are all in our 30s and have a similar outlook on life and sense of humor and interests and just vibed really well together. This changed last fall when the guy moved in with another guy, I’ll call him Chaz, who I knew peripherally and never really felt comfortable with. I didn’t mind hanging with him occasionally but he wasn’t someone I would want in my close friend circle.

Chaz is in his mid 20s and has a very different personality than people I’m generally close with. For example, he doesn’t believe in tipping, thinks women shouldn’t be out alone at night, drives a lifted Jeep with horns on it, doesn’t know a lot of basic things people his age should know, and just makes really asinine comments. It’s like he doesn’t know how the real world works.

Since my friend lives with Chaz, he’s started being invited to everything we do. He was added to the group chat, where he makes the same weird and dumb comments as always. I’m just very frustrated that I have to deal with him and I find myself being short and generally having a negative attitude about anything he says. I don’t like to feel like that or act like that, but he just brings it out in me. It’s to the point where I no longer want to hang out if he’s going to be there and I rarely participate in the group chat. It makes me sad that I feel like I’m being pushed out of the group because of this one person. I’ve talked to my two women friends about it, and they think I should just deal with him and don’t let him get to me. But I’m uncomfortable with him as a person. And I’m surprised they are since he holds the opposite values that we do.

Am I the a-hole for not wanting to hang out with him and wishing things could just go back to the way they were? I’m not really sure how to handle this situation without losing my friend group.