Today my grandma from my moms side of the family called us to tell use she had a 18lb brain tumor and was getting it removed tomorrow. She said she wanted us to see her before she gets surgery. I felt sad for her but if I’m being honest I didn’t feel the type of emotion to want to break down and cry. If I’m being brutally honest I told me sister I don’t want to go see her. And my reason is because growing up she’s always been so negative to me. Constantly talking down on me, cursing at me, & when I was 10 I didn’t get her a Christmas gift she called me a piece of shit. She would constantly exclude me from my other cousins and treat me differently. a moment that really I think really made me look at her differently was when I was 7 she was being mean to me. She asked me “ do you love me?” And I said no. I didn’t tell her because it’s the way she treated me but I just was honest with her. She told my other grandma(my guardian). 2 weeks later my siblings went to her house because my cousins were over there and i wanted to go of course. I got to the door and my cousins said they can’t let me in because I don’t love nana. Mind you I was like 6 and I felt crushed. I was crying and they were all enjoying it and later let me in.I don’t know if I’m wrong for me to not want to see her after what she put me through because I genuinely feel that I don’t want to because of how she’s treated me. But am I the asshole for feeling this way?