My dad has never been super close to his family. He passed in September. Just before, my mom and I were talking about plans. I expressed how I don't love the idea of him being "pieced out", but that if she or my brother wanted some, I would obviously not make a fuss. My mom agreed with me. So she ordered a large urn, and 3 small urns, for us.

My aunt asked my mom for some and my mom let her know that we'd decided not to share them. She never spoke about it to me, until yesterday when she came to drop off Easter chocolates for my daughter. My dads family has never been kind to my mom, and in turn to me because I was the daughter. I'll get calls if they need something, otherwise it's pretty toxic. Of course they were all at the hospice, though some hadn't seen him in a long time.

So yesterday, she brought up how she wanted some ashes but my mom (with added condescension) said no, it's up to you guys, ect. The whole guilt trip, with tears and all. Having me comfort her on my first Easter without my dad. I've spoken to my brother and his wife, and my mother in law, and they seem to think it's no big deal. I know this isn't my own decision, that's its primarily my moms', but AITAH for not wanting to share them? I don't know what protocol for this is. My grandparents were not cremated.

TIA