We’ve been seeing each other for 8 months. It’s been undefined the whole time—not exactly casual, not exactly serious either. There were warm, emotional moments and also times where we both pulled away. I think we’re both a bit emotionally avoidant, and that makes it really confusing.

Recently, we were both going through stressful things—he had a family emergency, and I was preparing for a stressful work trip abroad. Despite everything, we supported each other with messages. I really felt held by him in that moment, and I thought, maybe this is a turning point. Like something between us had deepened.

He even asked me to send photos from the trip. So right before takeoff, I sent him a selfie. A sweet one. Me smiling, saying "wish me luck." It felt vulnerable to do that. All this time never sent him a selfie before. Not a very selfie person I am. And don't feel pretty enough for that...

He replied 2 hours later with: "Oh yeah haha, you could do it." That was it. No good luck. No warmth. No comment on the photo. It felt flat and weirdly distant, and honestly, it hurt. So I didn’t reply.

Four days passed. Then he messaged: "Heyy how is it, how was the flight?" By then I felt... unimportant. Like I had opened myself up and just got nothing meaningful back. I was already under so much stress with work and the trip, and I didn’t have the strength or clarity to respond. So I didn’t. I kept thinking I'll reply when I feel ready. But it’s now been 10 days since I returned, and I still haven’t written him back. Something stops me every time I try.

The worst part? I miss him. I really do. But deep down I think this silence is for the best—for both of us. Because I don’t think he cares about me in the way I care about him. And even if he does, he doesn’t show it in a way that makes me feel seen.

Still, it hurts.

How do I move on? What shall I do? Because I feel I am the AH. Just because he didn't reply as I wanted to, I felt unimportant and crossed. He is better off without me.