So I (25F) and my cousin (?F, I don’t know her age as we aren’t very close), let’s call her Chelsea, rarely talk. We’ve had tiffs in the past but it got resolved fairly quickly but we’ve kept in touch here and there. She lives in another province and has her own life going on and I have mine.

The past few conversations I’ve had with her, I’ve just been generally uncomfortable with. Normally we update on life stuff, but the only time she’s messaged me recently is to ask if her ex (who I was friends with over socials) posted anything about her. I saw a few things but always said “No I haven’t seen anything”. I know that they kept in contact but from what I heard through the grapevine, they’re co parenting relationship isn’t as great.

Well last night, she once again asked if he’s posted anything and I realized I haven’t seen any posts from him recently so I was curious as well (I was not going to send her anything even if there was anything, if he doesn’t want her seeing stuff it’s not my place to share) and I realized that he actually unfriended me. Showed her a screenshot of said unfriendshipness and she then went on a rant about how he called the cops on her for child abuse. I just said “oh? Wtf? Why?” And she said he lied and that he’s just crazy. Okay, strange but alright then, considering they live provinces apart too.

Well, I decided to reach out to the ex and asked if he unfriended me due to Chelsea. Let’s call the ex Robert. Robert messaged back saying that yes, it was because he didn’t want her friends and family snooping into his life and feeding her information. I told Robert I understood completely, as she has been asking me consistently to snoop and said it was a very off-putting situation. We got to chatting about his small business he’s started, and I even sympathized with him about parental alienation as he is currently dealing with that with Chelsea. I’ve had to deal with something similar with my daughter who lives with my ex (I didn’t see her for over two years since I started a new relationship and had more children) and thought it was a constructive conversation. I have not spoken to this person on Facebook before, or even outside of Facebook, but we know who eachother are due to, you know, family.

Well, this morning, I had quite the barrage of messages from Chelsea. Apparently, Robert send her a screenshot of me outing her for asking me to stalk his profile. I saw a part of a message in the screenshot that wrote “Stop getting you’re friends and family to message me and creep on me”.

Which, confused me, because I messaged him asking if he unfriended me due to Chelsea. I don’t think he showed the whole convo to her, just the part where I outed her. Chelsea didn’t make me message him, that was a choice on my own (and apparently a bad one).

Anyways, the messages from Chelsea had the screenshot, and her saying “Wtf is wrong with you? F you man, No wonder why nobody likes you. You go to hell, you’re dead to me. Burn all the bridges of the people that actually care about you. I am telling your ex about (my current partner) choking you out so you never get to see your daughter again, peace out you dirty wh*re.”.

For context. Me and my partner were in bad times, fighting consistently and one of those times it ended up getting extremely physical. Police were called, and we have had over a half of a year of being separated. We’re both currently in counselling, separate and as a couple, but he is still not living in the house as we want to make sure nothing like that happens again before he moves back in.

Anyways, after those were sent and before I could say anything, she blocked me, and honestly, good riddance.

I then messaged Robert, saying I didn’t appreciate him screenshotting what I said, and essentially throwing me under the bus for trying to let him know what she keeps trying to make me do. Ended it with “I suppose that’s what happens when you try to be the bigger person. Lesson learned, won’t happen again”. And in turn, blocked him.

I really thought I was doing a good thing but I’m starting to think that maybe i am TA for how I went about it.

So Reddit, AITAH?