so, my (29f) best friend (30f) has been dating her fiancé (31m) for about two years now, and they’ve been planning their wedding for about a year. she’s been talking about it non-stop, and i’ve been so excited for her. however, about two months ago, i found out something that i’m really struggling with.

i was talking to one of my other friends (31f) who happens to be close with the fiancé. during the conversation, my friend casually mentioned that she heard the fiancé had cheated on my best friend while they were on a trip abroad. she wasn’t sure about the details, but said it was with a girl he met at a bar, and it was a one-time thing, but still, it shook me.

i didn’t want to believe it, but i started to piece things together. there had been weird behavior before, like he would get super defensive whenever someone brought up the wedding, and he seemed to be avoiding her at times. i also noticed that whenever he was around, he was overly nice to everyone, almost like he was trying to make up for something. it was all a bit much, and i felt like something was off.

i ended up confronting my best friend about it, and she was furious with me. she said i was being nosy and that i should mind my business, and that it didn’t matter anyway because they had worked through it. she accused me of trying to ruin her happiness and told me i had no right to interfere in her relationship. i told her that i couldn’t in good conscience attend her wedding knowing what i knew, and she called me selfish and hurtful.

i feel terrible, but i also don’t think i can support a wedding when i’m not sure she’s making the right decision. i’ve been friends with her for over 10 years, and i don’t want to see her get hurt, but i also don’t want to be the one who causes drama. am i the asshole for refusing to attend her wedding, or should i have kept quiet about the whole thing?