My 29f husband 34m has three kids from a prior marriage. 11m,7m,6m. They are absolutely terrors, as both of their parents have struggled to agree with parenting and rules.

When I met my husband four years ago, he stated that he isn’t looking for a mom for his kids. His kids have two parents, and he’s looking for a wife for himself. I like kids but I’ve never wanted any of my own. I was open to the idea of him having kids. Back when we dated, he had the kids on weekends. Things were fine with them. He never expected anything from me regarding the kids. I told him I’m not interested in babysitting, and he said he’d never ask me to. He’ll just hire his niece to babysit if he needs a babysitter.

Long story short, in the last year they’ve moved from weekends to fifty-fifty. Since the kids are old enough to not need their mom as much, this was always the plan. One parent has the kids for a whole week, and other has the kids the next week. Husband lost his job and got a new job that pays less. Niece also went off to college.

Husband can’t afford any of the local babysitters because they charge quite frankly a lot. The kids are terrors so babysitting does not come cheap. Husband is also now making less money. This weekend was his friends bachelor party. Husband is a groomsman and was expected to attend. Last minute he asked me to watch the kids for the entire weekend so he can attend this event. He thought it would be no big deal, and I would definitely agree.

I was kind of miffed that he waited to last minute to ask me. I told him that I can’t because I have to go to the gym, and I have brunch plans with my mother. And honestly, I just don’t want to. Sounds like a good way to ruin an otherwise good weekend. Also, why would I watch the kids so their dad can go get plastered and ogle strippers with his friends? No thank you. Not like it was an emergency or something.

Dan was very upset because he couldn’t go. I brought up the fact that before we got married he told me he wouldn’t expect me to watch the kids ever. He seem surprised because he thought I would’ve changed my mind. I told him I’d watch them if there was an emergency, but otherwise no. I didn’t have kids because I didn’t want the responsibility of them.

I like his kids. I cook for them sometimes. And take them out to do stuff occasionally. I show up to their sports games. But this is for me and the kids. I would say that they all really like me, because I don’t try to meddle and pretend to be their mom. I’m their dad’s wife that they like. I love Dan but I think he needs to not try to shirk his responsibility as a father. He signed up for this. Having kids means you don’t always get to do the things you want to do.

AITAH?

Edit: Their mom won’t switch weekends with my husband. She makes plans for the weekends when my husband has the kids. She’s not going to cancel her plans last minute because he doesn’t have a babysitter and wants to go out with his friends.