I (26M) don't like a lot of foods. I'll admit I'm the picky eater. My Grandma (71F) is hosting and won't tell me or my mom (50F) what she's making because she wants it to be a surprise.

At Thanksgiving, I ate beforehand because I don't like Turkey then did the "I'm really not hungry I ate last night because I didn't want to eat breakfast but I ate too much" bit I've done to avoid offending my grandmother if I don't like what she makes.

At Christmas, she made a ham. I left hungry, was 2 hours from home, every restaurant was closed, but I stopped at a gas station and got some snacks there on the way home.

She's a very good cook. If I like the food she makes, nobody makes it better. She takes it personal where not liking a certain dish = thinking she's not a good cook, which is not true. My mom has tried being the intermediary before and explaining to her but it doesn't matter.

So, being in my position, I don't want to do the same thing on Easter where I'm hungry all day and not able to enjoy it. I don't want to. If I knew what she was making, I would plan my day around it by eating before going if I don't like or taking a snack. If I liked what she's making, I'd go and enjoy myself.

My mom has this weird philosophy:
"If someone takes the time to cook for you, you should be grateful." I'm sorry, but I'm just not. Like, maybe if I was starving or incapable of getting my own food I would be but since I'm not starving and am capable of getting my own food.

She's saying that it might be the last Easter we all get together and I need to go. I say that if that's true, tell me what I'm making so I can enjoy it too. Or if she wants us all to be there, she should tell us and the issue would be solved. My mom says I'm being an asshole and should just go but I'm holding my ground.

AITAH?

****

If this matters....... we're not a religious family. Just get together because Holidays are a time everyone is off work/school.
It's my first year not financially dependent on my parents. I was living with them before and would always go. Now I'm not.

We did not get together every year/every holiday. When we did, I normally enjoyed going. I'd say I liked about 75% of the meals my life.

My grandmother has never told my mom what she's making beforehand. It's not like this is some new thing.

EDIT: Lots of people are suggesting bringing my own dish. That would offend her more than me not showing up. Nobody does this. She insists that when she hosts that she do 100% of the cooking.