I’m in a friend group where four of us are getting married within the same year. We’ve all been pretty supportive of each other - attending engagements, sharing venues, vendors, etc. I got engaged back in January, and I had a bit of a financial upswing earlier this year that gave me the flexibility to splurge a bit on a ring and some of the engagement weekend stuff. I didn’t make a big deal out of it - I just wanted to do something nice for my fiancée.

Anyway, one of my close friends in the group proposed a couple weeks ago. Super sweet moment, but afterward he pulled me aside and asked me if I’d be willing to pitch in for a “wow factor” gift for his fiancée - like a surprise spa weekend or some luxury bag - because he “knew he couldn’t do what I did” and didn’t want her comparing the two experiences. I thought he was joking at first.

But he was serious. Said since I “set the bar,” I should “balance it out” for everyone else in the group to avoid making things awkward.

I told him, respectfully, that wasn’t my responsibility. I didn’t throw money around to flex - I just happened to have the means this time, and I don’t expect anyone else to match it. He got weirdly defensive and implied I was being selfish for “not helping keep the peace.”

Now it’s gotten back to our group chat and there’s weird tension. One friend thinks I could’ve “eased the situation” by offering a small gesture. Another agrees with me that it’s not my job to bankroll someone else’s relationship optics.

So… AITA?