Throwaway account because I don't use Reddit often, but my friends encouraged me to share this here.  

Last summer (June 2024), my high school organized a trip to Germany for students taking German as a foreign language class. For context, I was 16 at the time and a sophomore, while one of the main people in this story, let's call him "Elliot," was 17 and a junior. I'm now 17 and homeschooled for unrelated reasons, while Elliot is 18 and a senior at the same high school previously mentioned.  

To set the stage: this trip was supposed to be an exciting cultural experience, but it ended up being one of the most stressful and isolating experiences of my life because of what happened with Elliot and a group of other students.  

The Incident  

While we were in Germany, Elliot and two other classmates, let's call them "Jordan" and "Logan," along with their German exchange partners, decided to buy alcohol. Although I don’t remember the exact amount or types they purchased, I know it was a lot—more than should ever be consumed by teenagers on a school trip. Despite being explicitly told that drinking was strictly forbidden—even for those legally allowed to in Germany—they ignored the rules and drank anyway.  

After drinking, they went swimming while intoxicated, which was dangerous enough on its own. But they chose an unsupervised location, and Elliot admitted he couldn’t even swim, making the situation even more reckless.  

My conversation with Elliot happened while we were waiting for our exchange partners during a test. Before this, we were only acquaintances—if not complete strangers—which made it all the stranger when he approached me, asking if I could "keep a secret." Thinking it was something harmless, I naively agreed.  

At first, he told me about drinking and swimming. While I thought it was reckless, I wasn’t immediately alarmed; it seemed like just another case of reckless teenage behavior. Though irresponsible and dangerous, at least he was admitting it. But then he told me he had cheated on his fiancée—a fact (the having a fiancée part, not the cheating aspect, although some were suspicious) I was already aware of due to widespread gossip—with one of the German exchange partners of another American student in our group. That shocked me, but I still tried to keep my composure.  

Then Elliot really started venting. He said he didn’t love his fiancée anymore and was only staying with her because she was pregnant with his child. Although I didn't agree with what he did or was saying, again, some mistakes get made, because you know what they say: that's the moral of the story.  

But what made this even worse was his fiancée’s situation—she was back home, about to give birth to their child alone while he was in Germany, vacationing, cheating on her, and calling her and their unborn baby "obstacles." She was preparing to bring their child into the world, while he was actively throwing their relationship away behind her back.  

The conversation took an even darker, horrifying turn when Elliot escalated the situation by admitting that he had thought about—and was still thinking about—killing his fiancée and their unborn baby because this experience apparently opened his eyes to a newfound clarity where he now believed they were standing in the way of his dream to move to Germany and be with his "true love"—the same German exchange partner he had cheated with. This turn in the conversation is what really made me reconsider everything. All of the other things he had told me, although they may not have been morally just or cautious, were not severely harmful to others like this.  

Elliot wasn’t drunk during this conversation, which made his words all the more chilling. When he asked me again to keep all of this a secret, I felt trapped and deeply uncomfortable, as at the time we were alone. I couldn’t bring myself to agree, but I didn’t want to set off any alarm bells in his head that might make him view me as a "danger" to him. I tried to act as normal as possible, sitting in silence until our exchange partners returned and ended the conversation.  

Later, I confided in my exchange partner and three people I considered friends from the trip. Two of them, let’s call them "Sam" and "Alex," urged me to report it immediately. The third friend, let’s call him "Ryan," and my exchange partner agreed that I was overreacting and told me I should let it go.  

Part of me wondered if Elliot wanted to get caught. After all, who spills incriminating details to a stranger unless they subconsciously want someone to intervene? I wasn’t sure whether to report the drinking and swimming, but since it was all interconnected, I decided to tell the whole truth to prevent future harm.  

After agonizing over the decision, I decided to report everything to the chaperones—the drinking, the swimming, and Elliot’s disturbing threats. I realized that if I stayed silent and something terrible happened, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.  

The Fallout  

The fallout was worse than I expected. Sam and Alex supported me and reassured me that I had done the right thing. But Ryan and others who were aware of the situation were furious.  

Ryan confronted me, accusing me of reporting everything for selfish reasons. He said I had blown things out of proportion and made assumptions about Elliot’s words, claiming that they were meaningless and that I’d ruined the trip.  

The others who sided with Ryan spread rumors about me, accusing me of being dramatic and of betraying the group. They claimed I was trying to ruin the trip for everyone and jeopardizing our school’s ability to host future trips.  

What made it worse was the passive-aggressive behavior. A few of them flat-out ignored me, refusing to speak to me or make eye contact. Others whispered about me in front of my face, declaring that I had “betrayed” everyone.  

At one point, I overheard Ryan telling Elliot and some of the others that I had gone against my word to "keep the secret." But it wasn’t a reasonable secret to keep, and they all knew it. This made it clear that the group thought my actions were a personal attack rather than an attempt to prevent harm.  

The teachers assured me that I had done the right thing, explaining that my report helped ensure the safety of the program and wouldn’t jeopardize future trips. They were kind and understanding, but their support couldn’t erase the hostility I was facing.  

By the end of the trip, I felt completely isolated. Whatever relationships I had with them died right then and there. I made my choice, stuck to it, and defended it—rather than backing down in the face of pressure. Sam and Alex were the only people who stuck by me, the only ones that knew at least, but it was hard not to feel the weight of everyone else’s anger and resentment.  

Even now, I sometimes wonder if I made the right choice. I know I couldn’t have lived with myself if something had happened and I hadn’t spoken up—but was it worth it?  

AITAH for reporting it?