I (15 trans ftm) (saying it because it might have an importance) have a mom (51 F) have a boyfriend (53 M) since I was, like, 10.

Let's get this straight I don't like him, really, I hate him. I don't think he's a good "father" or just boyfriend at all. I don't think he really has a house, he mostly stays at my mom's, so my, house and when he's not at my house, he's at his parents' house.

When he comes home and he's grumpy, he always says or does something that makes my mom, sometimes, and brothers and myself feel bad, it's almost like he wants us to feel bad because he feels grumpy, he often complains about one of my brother and I being in our phone too much, he often says jokes that are a bit insensitive to me and he regularly says to my mom to not ask us if we want something even if it's for what we want to eat tonight.

So the last time, him and one of my brother (16 M) went outside, to some big stores or something. And what I didn't know, because my mom didn't tell me, was that they would do the grocery shop to buy the dinner. So my evening went and when the two of them come home, I learn that I will make the dinner because I "didn't go buy the food". I remind you, I didn't know they would buy the food, so I don't really find it fair. I also have rather bad skills in cooking. My mom's bf blamed me for being "lazy" (I have a lot of symptoms of a sort of depressive disorder but apparently I'm just lazy, ok?), for not "doing anything on the house" which is really false. So I was kinda pissed off.

I began cooking and I didn't know how to do something and where a specific thing was at so I asked him, and all he had to say was "Find it yourself! Stop being fucking lazy like always" and then he begins to blame me for totally unrelated things, again. And, since I'm very sensitive sometimes, I began crying and my mom went to me to comfort me while her bf still was complaining about me. And I let out a "You don't fucking have empathy" or something like.

Now, I have "heavy traits of npd/narcissism" and autism, so, because of one of them, or both, I lack emotional empathy (the capacity to feel others' feelings) but I have cognitive empathy (the capacity of understanding others' feelings). So maybe what I said is a bit insensitive even if I don't feel like it.

So, back to the story. My mom's bf started bitching even more and my mom looked disappointed but I don't understand. My mom's bf said that he "did have empathy" but that just feels like a lie. And he never acts like this to any of my brothers, he still isn't the nicest but he treats them better. Even more the one that is an adult.

Am I the asshole for saying this?