hi there, me again.
Another thing here, I posted something yesterday and I also want to make amends. For more context, my last post explain it partially. So yeah, I've (M29) been in a relationship (F29) for almost 3 years and we've had our fair amount of issues, with trust essentially.

A little bit before I started to hang out with her, I became friends with a girl (among other female friends btw), we got along pretty well, hanged around quite a lot, but honestly to me it was nothing but friendship, and to her as well. I honestly never thought of anything else, and I honestly believe in the fact that you can be friend with anyone. Yet my gf has always been jealous of this friend.

Naturally, when I really committed to my gf, I came to see my friend less, no issue here. But I was quite upset with the situation with her ex bf, and one day, me being resentful, I kinda made it clear that I can have "options" if I really wanted to. I know this is not the way to resolve things and I regret it to this day. This just escalated the trust issues to another level, her already having trust issues from her ex bf.

From then on, we agreed that I don't talk to this friend anymore. I found it unfortunate bc this was a good friend, but I am okay with compromosing. Around 1 year and half later, I found out she was still talking to her ex bf, and I thought to myself "ok so we are not really fullfilling our promises uh, why do I even bother anyway". So I tried to reconnect with her here and there, nothing special. It was not the same as before anyway so I kinda gave up because you know how it is, as time goes by.

However at some point this friend got back in touch with me and we met up. Just talking about life and stuff like that, nothing special. I felt guilty and I surely am because nobody knows, it was "secret". A few months later we met up again with one of her friends that I also get along well with, a casual dinner. Then recently this friend invited me and the other friend to her new flat, for a casual dinner. It felt really good talking to other people but it doesn't feel right at all to do secretive things like that.

All in all I met this friend 3 times over the course of 2 years, without telling my gf? it's quite messy, isn't it?