Hey guys, i’m struggling with a fight that my boyfriend (23m) and i (22f) had earlier today and would love some insight. We’ve been seeing each other on and off for about 5 years but we’ve been together officially for about 2.5 years, living together for about 1 year.

For context, i’ve been in a 6+ month long battle with my insurance company to get a reconstructive jaw surgery covered. I’m a dependent on my mom’s plan and she receives her benefits through work, but the plan has incredibly specific requirements and they’ve been finding every excuse and loophole to not cover it.

my mom received a phone call today from my orthodontist, saying that now the dental insurance that we are doing my invisalign treatment with re-filed our claim, and is now only covering a portion of that treatment, and we’d have to pay a few hundred out of pocket. My ortho then asked how the appeal was going for the jaw surgery, and told my mom to speak to HR at her company about it because of how many issues we are having with multiple benefits that she receives through work. My mom spoke to the insurance company today for my surgery, and found out that her specific plan under the health insurance covers the surgery for the policy holder, but not its dependents. my mom told me about all of this, and i went to go tell my boyfriend about it.

further context, my boyfriend has a tendency to fact check and correct me constantly. he’s on the spectrum so sometimes he doesn’t even realize that he’s doing it, but i’ve told him time and time again that when he does this, it makes me feel stupid and inferior as oftentimes he will go as far as google searching something i said or claimed, just to see if i’m right, or just doubting what i said overall. He will verbatim say “that’s not correct” even when I know i’m correct. It’s not so much about being wrong as that’s not what i care about, but more so about the fact that he’s so quick to just doubt the things that I say.

But anyways, I begin to explain what my mom was told on the phone by my orthodontist. This is pretty much how the conversation went.

Me: “my mom just got off the phone with my orthodontist, apparently our dental insurance re-filed my claim for invisalign and is only partially covering treatment.”

Bf: “that can’t be right, that makes no sense. insurance companies don’t do that.”

Me: “well that’s what my mom just told me, and that’s what (ortho name) told her. she said in her 25 years in the industry she’s never seen this happen before. she advised my mom to go directly to HR at (company) and talk to them”-

Bf: “HR won’t know anything, they don’t work with the insurance”

Me: “yes they will. but my mom talked to blue cross about my jaw surgery treatment as well and they told her that my surgery couldn’t be covered because they don’t cover the specific surgery codes for dependents on her plan”-

Bf: “that’s not correct, how insurance companies work they cover everything the exact same for policy holders and dependents.”

Me: “that’s not what the insurance company just told my mom, so she’s going to speak to HR and-“

Bf: “how will HR be able to do”-

Me: “CAN YOU LET ME FINISH?”

So tldr, yes I snapped. He kept talking over me and trying to correct me despite me explaining information that I just heard directly from someone who spoke with my insurance. After I snapped, he slammed his plate down, I went upstairs and he yelled at me and told me I don’t get to just walk away like that. Once I got upstairs he texted me and said “this is so not fucking fair and i do not appreciate what you just did. I SIMPLY TRIED TO TELL YOU WHAT BCBS DOES and you told me to stop talking and let you speak, no shit i am going to be hurt.” I told him he wouldn’t let me finish and kept talking over me and trying to fact check me. he responded, “maybe it’s the fact that i’m trying to fucking help you”.

I sent him a long message about how he makes me feel inferior when he does this kind of thing and that his correction makes me feel stupid. I told him it felt like he always had to be right and could never be wrong, even when we’re just talking about trivial day to day things. It’s demeaning, in my opinion. He just thumbs upped the message.

Now he’s trying to apologize for “making me feel stupid”, despite saying he doesn’t even see how he made me feel that way, but it’s deeper than that. It’s the fact that i’ve brought this up as an issue so many times in the past yet he continues to do it, and it’s the fact that I sent him a long message explaining how it made me feel and he just thumbs upped it. I’m unsure of where to go from here but i’m feeling very hurt and lost. AITAH?