I (27M) found out a few months ago that my girlfriend (26F) cheated on me. We’ve been together for almost four years. It happened during a rough patch — we were fighting a lot, barely communicating, and honestly, things felt kind of cold between us. That doesn’t excuse what she did, but I’m trying to paint the full picture.

She told me about it herself. Said she hooked up with a guy she knew from her gym. It happened twice. She said it made her realize how badly she messed up and how much she actually wanted to fix things with me. She broke it off with him before she told me, and she was completely honest about everything when I asked questions.

I was devastated. I cried, I raged, I almost packed up and left. But I didn’t. We’ve built a life together — not just in the practical sense, like our apartment or our shared routines — but emotionally. We’ve been through so much. And I’m not saying I forgave her overnight. I still have moments where it just hits me all over again.

But we’ve been going to therapy. She’s been showing up — like, really showing up. She changed her number, cut off people who knew about it and didn’t tell me, gave me full access to anything I wanted to see (though I don’t snoop). She’s been patient when I spiral. And we’re communicating in a way we never did before.

Here’s where it gets tricky. My friends think I’m being a doormat. One literally told me, “She played you, and you let her win. It’s making me feel ashamed, like I’m weak for trying to work this out instead of walking away with some kind of dignity.

But here’s the thing: it’s easy to say “just leave” when you’re not the one in it. Love doesn’t just shut off. And maybe I’m an idiot. Maybe I’m being too forgiving. But I want to believe people can mess up and still change. I’ve messed up in the past too (not cheating, but still).

So… AITAH for staying with someone who cheated on me? Or am I just trying to make something work that’s already broken?