Throw away account:

My husbands grandfather passed away in 2006 in Italy. his grandma passed away in 2015 in New York. Her wishes were to be sent to italy to be buried in the mausoleum next to her husband.

His grandmothers parents had a private family mausoleum that was to hold 4 people, whoever chose to use it, his grandma and grandfather were supposed to be placed there. However only his grandfather was.

At the time of her passing his father (the son) and other family decided to place her here in the states since this is where everyone lived, and she could have visitors. Now since his grandfather is alone, he wants to bring him here and place him next to her since a spot is available and reasonably priced.

I tried to stay out of this discussion because it didn’t involve me, but it will involve our money since we share a joint account. Granted he makes significantly more then i do, and invests and saves a lot of his earnings. So it is my understanding that he would use those funds to do the transfer, rather then our weekly deposits.

I’m not thrilled with this thought, even though it doesn’t involve me. I think it’s an overkill because once you are dead, you don’t know anything. They won’t know where they are or that they’re being moved. They had the same mindset when they were preparing his grandmas services. Once she’s gone, she won’t know where she is or what they do.

According to my husband, the difference is now that her children are no longer here either, he wants to place them all together in a nearby crypt. Like this he can go visit them all for special occasions and bring flowers instead of having to fly to italy.

He’s convinced on this and has placed phone calls, he has estimates and ideas sorted out. I’m just not pleased that he’s choosing to do this now given the current state of our government and economy. I’ve had discussions with him telling him that it’s not worth the hassle and that as long as you retain the memory it doesn’t matter where they are placed. He countered by saying he had a special relationship with them, and it’s either he brings her to italy to be with her husband and she has no visitations, or he brings his grandpa here who hasn’t been seen since 2016 and put them together where they can be seen often whenever he wishes to go.

Since his grandma’s passing especially, he’s grown more religious which he wasn’t so much back when we got married in early 2011. I don’t mind his increased faith and belief, but i do think there’s becomes a too excessive. It’s not about the money because what he makes in 1 week it would take me 3 weeks to make the same amount. I just dont like the length he’s willing to go, and money he is willing to spend for something that really does not have a true meaning.

AITAH for trying to encourage him to change his mind in regards to this? I don’t want to be a bad spouse, i do appreciate the love he has for them, but are some things just to much?

ETA: if it means anything, if he would’ve done this when things were for affordable and in the years 2020 to 2024, i wouldn’t care at all. If he’s willing to hold off until 2029, i will help him get this done and put up a fair amount to get it done. But the timing is not ideal, and that’s a big reason i object