So, for context, I (F18) was having a conversation with my friend (F18) and her mother. We were talking about this teacher we had and how he’s attractive. Now, my “situationship” (M20) was sitting right near us. (We aren’t dating or anything, but we do some stuff.. so..) The conversation I had with my friend / her mother consisted of us talking about the teacher being attractive and his body being nice (honestly just his arms..). Nothing too crazy.

So, that night me and him are sitting with each other and I asked what was wrong. He told me it was nothing and it was okay, me being me, I pressed him a little bit and I said something along the lines of “oh, was it the convo about (teachers name)?” To which he decided to tell me that was only part of it. (The other part is irrelevant, not really something I want to share either as it takes a lot more explaining.) He didn’t give me much beyond that, and we went to bed.

So today we’re talking about him being upset at me a lot, because I said “but it really sucks when you’re upset and don’t want to talk about it. i understand and i don’t want to pressure you when you’re upset, it just leaves me feeling really lost and sad.”

This sparked a whole conversation about the teacher, where he essentially told me I shouldn’t have talked about the teacher in front of him at all, asking me how I didn’t see how it would upset him. I told him repeatedly, I do understand, I do see it, but I don’t understand why the silly conversation weighed so heavily on him. It’s not like I said I wanted to fuck that teacher or anything I just said he has nice hair and muscular arms. He gets upset at me over things like this, but this time I just can’t understand.

Then he brings up irrelevant things and starts making assumptions as well as being rude and dismissive on top of that. Now I’m left here lost, and he’s saying he’s going to “back up” and “stop treating it like it’s his business”… He says things like that every time we argue, and I’m left wondering why he thinks it’s okay? I don’t know. He also got upset saying I didn’t give him context until now, but I told him he didn’t even ask me until the next day, even when I tried to talk about it with him.

I just don’t understand why it’s such a big deal? And I said it wasn’t like I’d actually do anything, but he focused on the hypothetical and said “you said it couldn’t happen but what if it could???” But I had that teacher when I was 15, a literal child.. to me it’s disgusting to even think of that happening but I wasn’t saying I wanted anything to happen in the first place, I just said he was an attractive guy?

AITAH???

edit; forgot to mention this, but he often gets upset and ignores me or acts rude and becomes distant for days on end, even when the problem is small and can be easily resolved. we also have limited time together whenever we see each other, maybe 2 days maximum for about 6-8 hours each day.