I’m 48f and my daughter is 14f, she also has autism. Currently she’s going through that ‘rebellious teenager’ phase (eyeliner, short hair and bags etc). I’ve always had a somewhat decent relationship with her but ever since she’s started high school she’s seem to have became more sad and tired. She has this awful friend who I’ll just call Susan, who has put her through a lot over the years. In April 2024, we had a heartfelt discussion in the car about her mental health and struggles and then when we went inside she showed me her self harm scars. Obviously I was very upset about this since she’s my child, I can’t believe she’d do this to herself.

So I cried in front of her and then after we finish talking I text my friend, let’s call her Sandra. My daughter has only met Sandra a couple times and hasn’t seen her in over 5 years so I thought there was no harm in telling her since she’ll never know. I also told my sister who lives with us and one of my friends she’s never met before.

After this I continued to tell my friends about what was going on with her and on days where she kept having meltdowns, I asked my friends for comfort since this was really hard for me.

On November 23rd, I found a knife in her room. I immediately told Sandra and my sister for comfort. This was awful I kept breaking down while thinking about it.

Now everything went fine until a couple weeks later she randomly asked me if I told my friends about her self harm. Obviously I said no, if she knew she’d hate me.

Now before anyone says anything about her self harming being none of my friend’s business, just think about how upset I must be about it. my daughter, my world is harming herself because she’s so low in life. Imagine how distraught I must be when finding out about this. What if she’s on the brink of killing herself? She’s not the only one who needs help, I do too! So of course I’ll ask my close friends for some.

So, AITAH?