Background: I grew up extremely religious but no longer adhere to the religion.

I started dating my gf and she was very straightforward with me about her past - to include that she's married but separated, the number of exes, and her past sexual life including the "acts" that she's done. Along this past, she had a FWB that she lived with at the time that we started dating; however, she lied about the relationship with this man entirely. At this time, she lives alone.

Initially, she told me that she lived with him and that he was her ex-best-friend and that they no longer talked. A month into dating, she told me that they had a past sexual history, but it was very limited.

As time passed, I snooped and dug, and discovered that their history was much more extensive than just best-friends --> FWB. She told me strange lies, such as that she never did certain "acts" with him, or that they never went on dates, and that he had never been in her bed or had seen her naked, that they never showered together -- basically random stuff that I didn't really ask but she felt necessary to disclose.

Eventually, some 5 months later, it's been revealed that she has hidden/lied about most all of their history. A trickle truth reveals that basically, she's done all of these acts with this person. In addition, he found my social media and phone number recently and has been bombarding me with explicit pictures of them and detailed stories of their prior encounters.

One particular moment was when he texted me details of their last encounter -- apparently they held hands as she walked out and he gave her a kiss on the forehead. Bear in mind that she was already my girlfriend at the time.

Today, I told her that I don't respect her as much as I did prior to finding this out. I want to be clear -- my loss of respect isn't because of the acts or her past, it's because she hid them from me and lied to my face in order to "build herself" up as something that she is not.

She reacted horribly, and brought up many errors that I have done through the relationship.

To my note: It's entirely possible that this person is lying, but he seems to have valid details and backups his claims quite well (timestamps, pictures, and the details such as kissing on the forehead if he were lying he'd have said it was a full on kiss).

Anyway, she has told me that I've destroyed her self-esteem knowing that her boyfriend doesn;t respect her and believes that I am preparing to leave the relationship. I explicitly stated that I am not leaving, but that I no longer respect her as a person and that we can work on building that up some day, although the chances are slim.

AITAH?