I (34f) and my husband (32m) have been married for 4 years and together for a little less than 7, and I feel like I'm caught in the middle of the biggest shitstorm right now. All of our relationship, he's had very little contact with his brother and is very avoidant of his parents' holiday get togethers, primarily because of his brother, I'll call him D for the sake of the post.

My husband's qualms with D go back years, he claims that D mocks him and has made life on him hard, from the time they were growing up. D would occasionally make fun of some of my husband's digestive problems, would taunt him about his love life and especially about his body growing up. Which, to be fair, the pictures I've seen of my husband from around high school, he was very thin but also had a little bit of a belly, it was certainly a strange build but he's obviously doing better now, I just don't see why he's still hung up on it.

I support my husband and I love him dearly, but he told me about a month ago that he was talking to his therapist about cutting his parents and brother out of our lives, which I obviously object to. We have two kids, and they can't just be removed from one set of grandparents because of petty grudges from years and years ago, and I told him this. I've been talking to D over the last 6 months or so because he, with a wife and family of his own, is just very misunderstood by my husband.

I've been trying to tell my husband to not take D's teasing so seriously, because I've found him to be nothing but pleasant to me, and he's a good uncle to the kids as well, and I told my husband that he's nuts for wanting to cut out good family. I empathize with my husband's grudge, I had people tease me in high school too, but you don't see me throwing a fit about it 15 years later because I can't get over it. That's not how it works.

My husband has since come to me in the last couple of weeks with messages from his brother, almost certainly out of context, about being with numerous of his exes while they were dating and telling him that I'm a part of that as well. I am NOT cheating on my husband, but I'm in a terrible spot because my husband frankly believes D at his word, and is now taking it out on me. He's saying we now cut his parents AND D off, and go to joint therapy, or else he's filing for divorce and battling for custody on top of that.

I snapped and told him that he's crazy and just plain manipulative for having the gall to make that kind of demand to me, and I told him that his problems with D from all that time ago are most certainly NOT my problem anymore, I should be allowed to be friends with whom I want, and as much as I feel bad with some of the stories my husband has told about D, the reality is I can't let him cut good people out of our lives, not when they've been so nice to myself, the kids, AND have tried to make amends with my husband.

But I took this up with some friends through out the week, and Kelly (fake name) who I've been friends with since elementary school flat out told me she was grossed out by my handling of this when I tried to vent to her in private, others echoed similar sentiment. AITAH for standing my ground here?

Edit: NO, I AM NOT THRILLED WITH SOME OF D'S JOKES TO MY HUSBAND. That little issue *will* be taken care of, I think you guys are right to raise concern about it and I agree, I'll put a stop to it, thank you guys. Now, as for the post itself, please stick to the main issue of my husband's over/reaction and my response to this situation, because that's where the input it needed, I can deduce what's respectful to me and what isn't.

Note for a certain 'legendary' *somebody*: **I do not want to see that name again here. If you know, you know. I'm not listening to it.**