I (26f) got fomo because last night one of my co worker’s had their 21st birthday at the gay clubs and a bunch of other co workers went too of all ages above 21 (we’re all dancers and we dance for work so we’re all like family) I didn’t wanna go cause I’m not really into the club scene anymore and would probably wanna sleep by the time they started drinking. I decided I wanted to hangout with my partner (26m) after work and eat and catch up on our shows which was like 4 of them? After we watched our shows, he put on perfect blue which was a movie I’ve been wanting to watch and he found a way to stream it. I was already starting to fall asleep maybe 20-30 min in the movie and I let him know that I was starting to fall asleep cause i was exhausted. Have had rehearsals all week and on top of that go still consistent with the gym and did Pilates so was hurting from that too lol, but anyway! I didn’t make it through the movie and next morning my brother says I should’ve gone last night cause everyone was there which is cool cause we just had a massive layoff and there are some people I haven’t seen in a while. I was like damn everyone might be talking about last night at work haha and he just said ‘the 21 year olds party? Yea, I’m glad I didn’t go” and then he started to bash on people saying why are they going if they owe you money? And it’s like someone I really really care about so it made me a little upset. But I went silent cause I started getting a little anxious. Then he asked “what? You have fomo or something?” And I didn’t reply cause it sounds like if I answered honestly, it would’ve ended up in an argument and I didn’t want that. So I just sat with my own feeling of fomo for a bit and validated myself and told myself I’d go to the next gathering that isn’t a club. A little later he asks” are you gonna tell me why you went cold?” And I said well when you asked if I had fomo, I was scared of you just judging me for saying yes. And he just says well yeah I’m gonna judge you. 30year olds shouldn’t be going to a 21 year olds birthday. But it’s like they were all out and just having fun together and bonding. Like the way you put it, I get why it sounds weird, but we don’t make it weird. They were all there to just have fun. Like I personally don’t wanna be around JUST 21 year olds but if other people are there that are my age and older, I’m down to go. He took me saying I had fomo as me saying I didn’t have a good time with him last night. And I told him that wasn’t it at all. I love watching shows with you. And he just said well it took me forever to stream the movie (which I wasn’t aware he was putting the movie on till it was already on the screen) he said I just had a blank face the whole time and I didn’t ask questions and I made no facial expressions and I just told him again. I was exhausted. He told me to wake up in the middle and I even tried eating snacks and drinking something to try to stay awake and it wasn’t working. He said things like it feels like you’re blaming me. And I had reassured him earlier too and in this moment that I know I was the one to make the decision to not go cause I didn’t wanna go. And I stand on that. I’m glad I didn’t go, but i think it’s still valid for me to feel fomo. I just needed to sit with the feeling, but after we had our conversation, it felt like I shouldn’t have felt anything in the first place, but I did and now it just feels wrong. I dunno how I could’ve handled this better. I started to get reactive but I did step out cause I know myself and I was starting to feel the fight or flight. I didn’t wanna say something I didn’t mean. I just feel stuck. AITAH? how do i communicate better to him?