My (31F) sister (27F) is currently living with my grandparents but they are selling their house so that they can move into a small condo due to rising costs. Which means my sister needs a place to live. She asked me via text if she could live with me and my husband while I was in the hospital last week.

I am 6 months pregnant with my first kid and my doctor says I'm teetering on having preeclampsia vitals. My doctor sent me to the hospital after I had a BP of 160 over something.

When I got my sisters text I showed my husband it and he said "absolutely not, we are not adding any more stress on you right now." He called her a little bit later and told her the situation and said that her coming to live with us "just wasn't in the cards right now with everything going on." She got quiet, said okay, and hasn't spoken or replied to me since.

I feel terrible because she's my sister but at the same time, she has just been constantly bouncing around in life since she became an adult. When she wanted to leave my mom's house, I helped get her set up in college but then she flunked out immediately because she got a military boyfriend and just spent all of her time at his house. When they broke up she lived with a friend for awhile but she never put her name on the lease and so she got kicked out of there when the landlord found out.

After that, she lived with my husband and I for a bit until we found out she was lying to us and doing heavy drugs, so we kicked her out. Then she went to live with my cousin, and when my cousin decided she didn't like living so far from the rest of the family, both my cousin and my sister moved in with my grandparents. For the first year, my grandparents didn't charge my sister any rent and she had a job, yet she still doesn't have a car.

When she sent me her text about asking to live with us, she said that she wants to get her life together and that she feels like she's missing out because my brother and I both are starting families and settling down and my sister doesn't want to be the estranged aunt. Honestly at this point I'm not sure if she still just needs a bit more time to get her life together, or if she's just looking for a free place to stay. The older she gets the more frustrated I get with how she's approaching life because she's started subtly victimizing herself in conversation.

In contrast, my brother and I both moved out at 17 to go to college with literally nothing but the cars we bought ourselves while in high school and have been on our own since. But I also get that I can't expect her to have the same life experiences as us.