My wife have a vegetable garden in the backyard which includes a green house and several raised planters. I put zero value on homegrown vegetables, particulaly because when you consider the labor, I am opposed to paying $20/lb for tomatoes and other things. It's her HOBBY and certainly not mine. I don't count the things I do for my hobby as work in this context, although I actually *earn* money with mine. (I'm a part-time technical writer) It is MY choice to do it.

She makes my lunch for me to take to work, although I have *repeatedly* told her that she doesn't have to, but she says she likes to. She also does most of the cooking, but I do NOT expect that she cook warm meals every day and twice on days off. I have told her *repeatedly* that I do not place any value on that and am just as happy to make a sandwich for myself. Here, too, she blew me off and said she likes to do it. (She also gets value out of it herself)

She does the laundry and essentially refused to let do as she expects me to do it wrong, although I did it myself when I was in the army and since we have been together, and never damaged anything. I do most of the outside work, including mowing the lawn and shoveling snow, as well as all of the minor repairs. We also have a small pond with a waterfall that I build myself and maintain, but I do not count that as work, as it was my choice to build it. I also do a lot of the "heavy" work for her garden, such as buying and carrying plant soil, then digging it into her garden. I also do the work of making the foundation, or whatever for her raised planters.

She recently got upset and used her hobby as an example of all of the things she does for me. While I didn't mention the cooking and laundry, I pointed out her vegetable garden is not work, but a hobby and if it was too much work, she should stop and not blame me because she "has to" do it. I also told her that it was unfair to ingore that I not only do work for her hobby, I help pay for it.

So, AITAH?

N.B. I know this is completely one-side, but I tried my best to be honest about it.