i (24m) am currently long distance with my gf (21f) and it’s only been a few months. we had known each other for a long time prior to this relationship and to me moving away from her. i am starting to see an extremely anxiously attached side of her.

i am currently a law student and in the middle of preparing for finals, it’s a very intense time. i routinely have 13-14 hour days. despite this most nights we talk on call after class for at minimum an hour sometimes up to two or three before i fall asleep at which time i leave the phone on. she has a very different schedule than me and spends most of the night awake, so i typically wake up around the time she falls asleep. At 10:15 i texted her assuring her that the next time we called, i would leave my microphone on because she said that hearing me snore comforted her. I didn’t receive a response back for an hour and in that intervening hour later, i fell asleep unintentionally and forgot to text good night. i worked about 15 hours yesterday and was dying for some rest. she’s well aware of the demands of my school and has been along for the ride hearing about it in some capacity for years now. i got a “:(“ around 5 AM which must have been the time that she fell asleep or woke up mid-sleep. at 6, when i woke up i promptly texted her apologizing, and saying that it’s hard for me to gauge just how much rest i need and that i dropped the ball not saying good night.

today, before she went to work she said “i’m not sad, wish u wanted to like talk to me or say goodnight instead of it being like a chore” which i think is unfair and a little guilt trippy.

basically, i know for a fact i dropped the ball not saying good night but given the amount of work i do, isn’t being on the phone all night long most nights of the week enough effort so as to not be guilt tripped when i slip up in texting back good night? So AITAH for thinking that making a mountain out of this and being guilt trippy about it is juvenile? I never said she was a chore - I was just exhausted last night, but that wasn’t good enough last time this happened and it won’t be this time.