I (31f) have been with my husband (m36) for 12 years. We have a very solid relationship and two children. My hang up is that he doesn’t appreciate how I express my frustration with him.

Today, I’m sick as a dog. No frills. I have a terrible head cold and I’ve had one all week after taking care of the two kids who have the same thing, on top of going to work, cooking dinner, cleaning, laundry, etc.

Now, I am not one to complain. But when I get sick, my husband gets overwhelmed with the slack he has to pick up. This morning, I decided to shower and while I’m in there, I hear all these thuds and voices. I get out & my child tells me how frustrated my husband is because I left all my shoes in the kitchen and I always yell at him for doing the same. I then tell him that I’m sick and I check to see what was left…2 pairs of shoes. He gets upset and I ask him to please not fight, I’m sick as a dog. He gets all upset and shuts down. So I explained, calmly, that I understand he gets overwhelmed with me being sick, but I need help. The house is a mess, the groceries have been sitting out on the kitchen table since I did the pick up 2 days ago, and I’m just DONE.

So, what does he decide to do? Take our one child out for a rendezvous to lunch and shopping around town because “the house is stuffy” and it’s apparent all I “want” to do is sit down and watch TV. So, I’ve been here all day, cleaning and taking care of our other child who is also still sick. I’m pissed mainly because it’s like he doesn’t appreciate all I do in a given week, all I juggle, and when he is sick, I drop everything to take care of him. I’ve expressed to him before that when I’m sick, I would like more help, but he shuts down and goes silent, then later tells me he doesn’t know what I mean by “more help”.

AITAH here for feeling a little left behind here?